Well peoples, its time for the NFL Review:
First, some music:
I saw Brandy on one of the morning shows today and forgot about her music career. She’s a decent singer, not great, not terrible. Above is my favorite song from her.
I going to go with the same method I did from last week when I address some of the games but will talk about some other things that bear interest in my life.
Detroit: These guys are truly staring at 0-16 and I thought I would never see the day. I’ve always contended that it’s a lot harder going through a whole season losing every game than winning. You would think that your team would try hard once and get one win but for the Lions, I guess not.
On another note, what about this latest “bailout” attempt by the government on the Big Three automakers. I understand that many people, especially in the greater Detroit area that work in the auto plants are going to be hit hard with job cuts but don’t the presidents and CEOs of these companies need to practice some form of financial competence before our government just gives them money that will most likely be misused and another “bailout” will be needed in a few years? Just saying.
Cincinnati: The most baffling non-coach to be promoted to a major program yet has to be Brian Kelly of Cincinnati, the Bearcats, not the Bengals. As a neutral observer, and with this team, I admit its hard, if Tennessee didn’t look at Kelly for their opening, that’s a terrible job by their administration. Auburn needs to have his number on speed dial, at least Turner Gill’s, who I will get to later on.
St. Louis: Just watch below. It’s worth it. God bless the 80’s!
Kansas City: Since the Chiefs continue to play at a below average, I’ll touch on another show with annoying fans to revisit a post from a week or two ago. Arrested Development was a decent show which I actually gave a chance. I really did watch two or three episodes and was amused, but not to the point of wanting to see more of it. I can see how people think it’s a classic show, really, but just wasn’t feeling it.
Seattle: Not to keep touching on keep touching on college football here because this is supposed to be about the NFL, but what is the University of Washington doing hiring the USC offensive coordinator. Why not just throw buckets of money at Mike Leach? Now, if he turned UDUB down, then I take that back but I don’t think that’s the case. Furthermore, if not Leach, how does Kiffin turn down that job and go for Tennessee. I can seriously argue that the Huskies’ job is better than UT.
Oakland: Their leading passer in their last game against San Diego went 8-17 with 61 yards. Do I need to keep giving my opinions on these guys?
OK, I can do better. Everyone’s favorite hefty lefty, CC Sabathia, who is from the Oakland area (I know it’s a stretch to include this in the Raiders section but I need something)) and just signed a ridiculous contract with the Yankees. Seven years and 160 million for a pitcher! That just doesn’t make fiscal, economic or general baseball sense.
I guess the whole wanting to play in the National League with a west coast team was not completely true. I understand why CC took the money but personally, I would much rather play in LA or even San Fran than the NYC and I’m from there!
I love my hometown and all but its not the best.
Jacksonville: So Matt Jones gets pinched for three games for doing the coke.
This is an argument that I’ve always had with people who make decisions like Mr. Jones did. I’ve never done hard drugs, even though some would argue that caffine or alcohol are hard drugs that you can become addicted to, but I’m not going to say that.
Seriously, when you’re looking down at that line of coke or look at that needle to shoot up something like heroin or even look at a crack pipe. You have to ask yourself, is that worth it. We all know how the story ends. You don’t see 80-year old coke heads or crystal meth users, there is no getting around that.
On that note, here is the same song from Lynyrd Skynyrd that I had last week, because they are that bad ass and Meggie liked it:
Cleveland: This would be an excellent time to discuss my fantasy football team because I know all of you are thrilled with hearing how it’s going. I had my first round/wild card matchup last week and won through a brilliant performance by Philip Rivers.
However, now I have to face the top-seeded team who has won like eight of the last nine weeks, so its going to be tough. How does this relate to Cleveland you ask. Well, my main receiver for this season has been Braylon “Stone Hands” Edwards. I’ve had numerous chances to drop him or even trade him earlier in the season but I’ve kept him around and probably stayed too loyal.
If I lose my league, Edwards would be the representation of me staying too loyal to someone. He has had a beyond below expectation season for his standards and I could have had some decent players in his place a long time ago. I didn’t start him last week and he actually may get the start this week in the most important week of my season. I guess the saying is that you dance with the girl that brought you or you brought, I’ve always been confused with that one.
San Francisco: Break up the 49ers. Nice win over the Jets. I thought that Singletary was in over his head when he got promoted to the head coach, but if they didn’t have that mental coaching collapse against Arizona a few weeks ago, these guys are only one game out with three to play. Instead, they are just playing out the string, but can still end up .500.
Once again, the Yankees must have missed the whole debacle that was the Barry Zito signing from the Giants.
San Diego: The clear MVP of my fantasy team has been Philip Rivers, which was completely unexpected. The starting QB for my team was supposed to be Matt Hasselbeck. That didn’t work out so well.
OK, I hate being that loser who always talks about his fantasy teams, so we’ll move on from that. I’m still worried about Tomlinson.
Green Bay: Its getting harder and harder to defend this team with Aaron Rogers, so I’m done. Actually, this honestly really isn’t all Rodgers fault. What has happened to that defense. 400 yards to Matt Schaub? Really, fall back, I don’t acknowledge them for the rest of the season.
Accept for Ryan Grant, because I own him on my…darn. Not going to be that guy. Moving on.
Houston: If Schaub could ever stay healthy for more than a game or two, they may have something cooking here. Peter King made an excellent point in his Monday Morning Quarterback, which this post is supposed to kinda be like but not.
Steve Slaton may rush for 1,300 yards and not even crack the top-five in Offensive Rookie of the year voting. You have to place Ryan, Chris Johnson, Joe Flacco, Matt Forte…OK, maybe he cracks the top-five, but you get the idea. Most seasons, Slaton is a runaway winner and getting fitted for his hula skirt to go to the Pro Bowl but not this season.
Buffalo: Still mixed on them playing in Toronto.
Speaking of which, if there were two cities that I haven’t visited yet but would probably like to live in, it would be between Seattle and Toronto.
I like the vibe of both cities from afar and think that they have potential. Your thoughts are always welcomed.
New Orleans: Nice win over the Falcons but what is going on with the Hornets?
I know that the NBA season is still young and these guys aren’t completely out of contention for anything but I want to see some more consistency from these guys.
Chicago: I’ve been saying that Michael Vick or Donovan McNabb would be the QB of this team next year, but now we get to include Plaxico Burress. It makes too much sense to not happen.
Arizona: Congrats, seriously to the Cardinals for clinching their first division title in forever. And now they get to host their first playoff home game since 1947! That’s not a misprint. Matt Leinart may want to look at playing for another team next season in between attending house parties with hot tubs.
Subject of first ever post on my blog. Fun memories.
Philadelphia: Nice win for the Eagles but everything aligned for them to win at the Giants. First, New York is due to lose a game or two more this season, which is a worry because Carolina is breathing down their necks for homefield. More about that later. Second, I don’t think that the whole Plaxico thing was a distraction in so much that they had to change their offensive gameplan mid-week. The Giants will adjust. Also, you knew that Brian Westbrook would break out for a nice game at some point. What I’m trying to say is congrats to Philly for the win, but let’s not get too excited about them.
Miami: I’m excited as anyone about having Joey Porter back in our football lives in a prominent way, but with the good comes the bad, as in his commentary on Plaxico Burress.
I’ve addressed this issue enough but I disagree with Joey greatly. If you want to see why, look it up or ask me.
Washington: Darn Clinton Portis, I’ve defended you before and you even gave us your great verbal war fare against Brian Mitchell earlier this season on your own radio show with John Thompson, but don’t come out now criticizing Jim Zorn. Not the right time or place.
New England: These guys are like frickin Jason Voorhies. Please go away, seriously, please go away. I feel about them the same way I do about Carlos Mencia. This video explains:
Dallas: Nothing makes me happier than seeing these boys go down and them arguing with each other. Jerry Jones making snide comments about the toughness of his prized running back? Wade Phillips looking like he knows its over. Romo looking like Romo in a tough spot. Even Owens has nothing to say. Complete debacle. BTW, they were my Super Bowl pick. Nice.
Jets: Be concerned Jets fans, be very concerned.
Broncos: Marching towards a division title and this will be a nice first step for Cutler’s March. They will probably host either Baltimore, Pittsburgh or Indy. They will be an underdog in two out of the three.
Atlanta: Hard to read them.
Tampa: So Oprah has gained some weight and we’re supposed to care. Look, take it from me, someone who has weight issues, but this isn’t new news.
Oprah is the type of person who looks like she likes to take a fad diet, use it, get off of it and then gain the weight back.
The key to losing weight, similar to getting off of an addiction, is a change in lifestyle. You have to look at your body in a cold-blooded way and realize that you have to take one meal at a time. You can’t be good for three days and then screw up the fourth and quit. You have to keep it moving and incorporate your new healthy habits into your lifestyle.
Personally, I don’t think Oprah looks bad or anything but I really don’t care about what her weight is, but she needs to realize that she is what she is.
She’s never going to be skinny. She can exercise all day and eat right, but her body type is only going to be a certain way. That doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t try to live a healthy life, but the body that she secretly is seeking is never going to materialize.
Would I like to be four inches taller, have a six-pack, thinner legs and a smaller chest? Sure, that would be awesome, but these things aren’t going to happen and I have to accept it. Does that suck, heavens yes, but life sucks even more and I could be disabled, have cancer or something else like that. I have what I have and accept it. Hopefully, Oprah can do the same. If not, screw her, she’s rich, deal woman!
I have similar feeling about the Bucs. These boring dudes are what they are and I have to learn to accept it even though I don’t want to.
And you thought there was no connection.
Ya’ll need some music to take you home. Thanks for sticking it out reading this long one:
Baltimore/Pittsburgh: Why are these two teams bracketed together, besides the fact that they face each other this upcoming week. Both of them run the ball, play excellent defense with game-changing safties, are underrated enjoyable teams to watch and are in two underrated cities.
Similar to how I said that I would like to move to Toronto or Seattle one day even though I’ve never visited there, two cities that get an unfair shake is Baltimore and Pittsburgh. Enjoyed my time in both places.
Indy: They’re going to sweep the rest of their games this season and are going to make Tennessee fans very worried when they roll into Nashville for a playoff game.
Carolina: Remember when I told you during Thanksgiving that my niece and nephew played me some Taylor Swift thinking that her music was the type of rock music I like? I wasn’t offended but I’ve learned that there is a backlash against her from traditional country fans. I guess some fans want more Alan Jackson and George Strait and less Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood.
I understand where they’re coming from in my relation to hip-hop. Give me more Common and less Soulja Boy. I want more Roots and less Bow Wow. However, with one you need the other.
How does this relate to Carolina? It really doesn’t but as a Giants fan, I want no part of seeing them face against New York. They do the one thing that you can rely on and that’s run the ball.
Tennessee: What is going on with NBC and them dissing my main man Conan O’Brien? Instead of being the main man of late night on NBC, he now has to FOLLOW Jay Leno every night. Furthermore, this affects the rest of the lineup of NBC, especially those hour-long dramas.
As a huge Chuck fan, I’m scared crapless right now. There’s now less programming room for these shows, especially now that five hour-long prime-time slots are filled by Jay damn Leno. So fans of Chuck, Heroes, Law and Order, Friday Night Lights, My Own Worse Enemy and some others, be very concerned that your show is too expensive and will get cut. You’ve already seen it with Lipstick Jungle.
BTW, Jay is funny and all but I don’t get it at all. Furthermore, now Jimmy Fallon is now going to be third-in-line with his house band, the Roots!
His house band is the frickin Roots! I don’t know whether to be happy or sad by that.
Furthermore, they are still keeping Carson Daly’s Last Call on the air. That’s four late night talk shows in one evening for those of you scoring at home. Furthermore, they are making Conan move to frickin LA, which is a joke. He’s an east coast guy and that’s the vibe of the show. Conan isn’t Hollywood, he’s New York.
Not happy with these transactions. Screw Jay Leno, big chinned beatnick.
Giants: I leave you with egg nog. I love the stuff. In fact, I’m enjoying some Southern Comfort egg nog right now. Tremendous stuff. It tastes so good and makes me happy. However, if you have too much of it at one time, you become sick of it and it ends up making you sick. The key is to drink small amounts of it over a long period so that you don’t feel congested.
The Giants are at that phase of their season. For the last calendar year, including the playoffs of last season, they have been playing at a peak level. They have been drinking their egg nog and enjoying it greatly. Once in a while they have a bad reaction, just like the loss to Cleveland earlier in the season, but they bounce back.
However, with Osi getting hurt in the preseason, Strahan retiring, the whole Burress situation, Pierce being questioned by the police, etc. they have reached a point of too much egg nog. They weren’t going to finish the season 15-1, they aren’t that good. They are more of a 12-4, 11-5 team. Problem is that Carolina is right there to take home field away, even though I don’t worry about the Giants on the road.
They need to just step away from the table, take some deep breaths and they will be fine.
Those are my thoughts on each team. Your reactions, comments, critiques are always welcome.
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