First, some music from Yes:
This weekend, I spent some time with my niece and nephews. One is in the 10th grade, one is in the 8th grade and one is in the 6th grade, the synergy is tremendous. Even better, the niece is the 8th grader. That’s like the perfect storm of having children.
Its always fun to spend time with them and see them grow up so fast. I remember each of them when they were toddlers and I was doing stuff like changing diapers, giving formula in a bottle, burping them, rocking them to sleep, etc. I still remember the first time that I saw my older nephew when he was less than a year old and now he’s taller than me.
I never did the baby talk with them because that’s not how I roll, but I can talk to them truly like adults now. They’re still kids, but I keep it honest with them about everything. However, in the past, I could slip an adult joke in there and they wouldn’t get it, but now they do.
We played Wii, talked about life and other things in general. I loved it.
My life in Nashville is devoid of family because all of them live in different cities. I’m a loner by nature and being away from the family has been good for me to focus on school and my career, however I miss them. When I told them goodbye on Saturday to head back here, I was actually sad, especially saying goodbye to my niece. That’s the lady in my life and my nephews are my growing gentlemen. I would give up anything in my life for their happiness.
On the ride back home, I was thinking about how much I would want to have children of my own to nurture and help grow into members of this society. I like my job and like school, but if this is all I’m going to have for the rest of my life, I don’t want it. I do want to have a family of my own one day.
Then I thought, do I have baby fever?
One of my friends has baby fever badly and I always tell her that she needs to let things happen in her life and accept what comes of it. Not everyone is supposed to get married, have kids and have a big family.
There are so many cases of people trying to force this into their lives and end up worse for it. People force marriages, have children they shouldn’t have and many other things that end up in divorces, abortions, abuse and many other things that aren’t good for anybody.
I don’t want her or anyone else associated in my life to rush into anything.
One prospective that I’ve slowly started to comprehend is the biological clock in women. Maybe it was because I was from the Northeast and it’s a Southern thing or maybe I just don’t care, but I’ve never had a strong urge to have children or even be in a long-term relationship and get married.
Are those some things that I would like to eventually happen in my life? Sure, but I can’t force that and make mistakes.
I’ve also always said that if I really wanted a child and I’m single and in my mid-30’s, I would just adopt or become a foster parent. There are so many children out there that need love and I think that I can provide them with that.
I think that I’ll eventually adopt a child or two in my life, pending if my wife or girlfriend is agreeable with it.
Do I have the baby fever? I think its more like a baby cough that can be remedied by some medicine. And what is that medicine?
Do you know how expensive a baby is? I would be responsible for providing financial support for that kid for at least 18 years, probably and hopefully more. I see a baby and I see a bill that keeps on coming.
Also, kids are kids. They’re cute for the first year or two, max. They start walking, talking, eating stuff they’re not supposed to, being mean and that’s only through the first four or five years. Then they go to school and cause harm to others all around them. They can be annoying to you, every decision you make in your life, you have to consider them. Want to go to that ballgame? Need to find a babysitter. Want to take that trip to Europe? Better see if there is stuff to do for the kid.
This doesn’t mean that your life is over. The worst stereotype out there is that men don’t want to be in a committed relationship and have a family. The perception is that once you get married and have children, your life as a man is over.
That’s not true at all. Men who end up unhappy in their committed lives let themselves get to that point. If you like baseball, don’t stop liking it because your wife doesn’t like it. Incorporate her into it. If you like to drive fast cars, keep driving them. Being married and having children doesn’t have to make you a pussy…cat.
Sports will always be a big part of my life and if I meet someone that I possibly want to spend the rest of my life with who doesn’t want me to keep it in my life, we will probably break up. However, as much as I love sports, I won’t put it in front of my children or my wife. These loser guys who would rather watch the ballgame then read to their kid are assholes. First, that’s what TiVo was created for. Second, its your kid, gain some prospective.
Find that balance with sports for me or something important in your life and things should work out better.
The key is to find someone who is down with your lifestyle. Never completely compromise your life and give in to a woman to the point that you make her happy but not yourself happy. Just be upfront with her from the beginning that you like to do certain things and if she isn’t down, keep it moving. Don’t be an ass about it. You can make adjustments in a nice way, but you have to look out for yourself first, always.
And that’s why my slight moments of baby fever are tempered with the medicine of my cynicism and realism. I know that I’m not ready to be a father and probably in a long-term relationship right now because of my opinions mentioned above.
But when I spend time with my family, I do feel the internal pressure to add to it. However, if I force something that isn’t meant to be, I’ll end up unhappier then when I started.
Your thoughts are appreciated on this.
Its always fun to spend time with them and see them grow up so fast. I remember each of them when they were toddlers and I was doing stuff like changing diapers, giving formula in a bottle, burping them, rocking them to sleep, etc. I still remember the first time that I saw my older nephew when he was less than a year old and now he’s taller than me.
I never did the baby talk with them because that’s not how I roll, but I can talk to them truly like adults now. They’re still kids, but I keep it honest with them about everything. However, in the past, I could slip an adult joke in there and they wouldn’t get it, but now they do.
We played Wii, talked about life and other things in general. I loved it.
My life in Nashville is devoid of family because all of them live in different cities. I’m a loner by nature and being away from the family has been good for me to focus on school and my career, however I miss them. When I told them goodbye on Saturday to head back here, I was actually sad, especially saying goodbye to my niece. That’s the lady in my life and my nephews are my growing gentlemen. I would give up anything in my life for their happiness.
On the ride back home, I was thinking about how much I would want to have children of my own to nurture and help grow into members of this society. I like my job and like school, but if this is all I’m going to have for the rest of my life, I don’t want it. I do want to have a family of my own one day.
Then I thought, do I have baby fever?
One of my friends has baby fever badly and I always tell her that she needs to let things happen in her life and accept what comes of it. Not everyone is supposed to get married, have kids and have a big family.
There are so many cases of people trying to force this into their lives and end up worse for it. People force marriages, have children they shouldn’t have and many other things that end up in divorces, abortions, abuse and many other things that aren’t good for anybody.
I don’t want her or anyone else associated in my life to rush into anything.
One prospective that I’ve slowly started to comprehend is the biological clock in women. Maybe it was because I was from the Northeast and it’s a Southern thing or maybe I just don’t care, but I’ve never had a strong urge to have children or even be in a long-term relationship and get married.
Are those some things that I would like to eventually happen in my life? Sure, but I can’t force that and make mistakes.
I’ve also always said that if I really wanted a child and I’m single and in my mid-30’s, I would just adopt or become a foster parent. There are so many children out there that need love and I think that I can provide them with that.
I think that I’ll eventually adopt a child or two in my life, pending if my wife or girlfriend is agreeable with it.
Do I have the baby fever? I think its more like a baby cough that can be remedied by some medicine. And what is that medicine?
Do you know how expensive a baby is? I would be responsible for providing financial support for that kid for at least 18 years, probably and hopefully more. I see a baby and I see a bill that keeps on coming.
Also, kids are kids. They’re cute for the first year or two, max. They start walking, talking, eating stuff they’re not supposed to, being mean and that’s only through the first four or five years. Then they go to school and cause harm to others all around them. They can be annoying to you, every decision you make in your life, you have to consider them. Want to go to that ballgame? Need to find a babysitter. Want to take that trip to Europe? Better see if there is stuff to do for the kid.
This doesn’t mean that your life is over. The worst stereotype out there is that men don’t want to be in a committed relationship and have a family. The perception is that once you get married and have children, your life as a man is over.
That’s not true at all. Men who end up unhappy in their committed lives let themselves get to that point. If you like baseball, don’t stop liking it because your wife doesn’t like it. Incorporate her into it. If you like to drive fast cars, keep driving them. Being married and having children doesn’t have to make you a pussy…cat.
Sports will always be a big part of my life and if I meet someone that I possibly want to spend the rest of my life with who doesn’t want me to keep it in my life, we will probably break up. However, as much as I love sports, I won’t put it in front of my children or my wife. These loser guys who would rather watch the ballgame then read to their kid are assholes. First, that’s what TiVo was created for. Second, its your kid, gain some prospective.
Find that balance with sports for me or something important in your life and things should work out better.
The key is to find someone who is down with your lifestyle. Never completely compromise your life and give in to a woman to the point that you make her happy but not yourself happy. Just be upfront with her from the beginning that you like to do certain things and if she isn’t down, keep it moving. Don’t be an ass about it. You can make adjustments in a nice way, but you have to look out for yourself first, always.
And that’s why my slight moments of baby fever are tempered with the medicine of my cynicism and realism. I know that I’m not ready to be a father and probably in a long-term relationship right now because of my opinions mentioned above.
But when I spend time with my family, I do feel the internal pressure to add to it. However, if I force something that isn’t meant to be, I’ll end up unhappier then when I started.
Your thoughts are appreciated on this.
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