Monday, November 24, 2008

Updated Top-Five Women! Feel the Excitement!



Hey everyone, its time for me to update my top-five list!

For those of you new to the concept, these are the five women in the world that I would like to hang out/date/go to a movie/share a hug/attend an epic box social with.

Ashley Judd has been on my top-five list since the late 1990’s but it was time for new blood. So, Ashley is the head coach/general manager of the team.

Here are some criteria.

1) All women are eligible. I don’t care how you look, your age, your race, whatever. Anyone is welcome. I don’t care if you’re married, have kids, single, a lesbian, it’s all good. This is all taking place in make believe land.

2) To be in the top-five, you must serve time on the bench. There are no direct promotions into the starting lineup on my watch.

3) The bench can only have 30 women on it. I have to have a limit.

3) Even this is mostly based on looks, you have to seem to have some personality about you. Multi-talented women are always welcome.

OK, some ladies were on the bench the last time I made this list, but they have been demoted. They won’t get kicked out of bed, if you know what I mean, but they just isn’t room for them. Here are the following women off the bench:

Vanessa Williams
Stacy Dales
Eva Mendez
Amy Lee
Nikki “Hoopz” Alexander

Ok, folks. Here’s the list:




1) Maria Menounos. She used to be my rookie of the year but now she has elevated to the point of being a guarantee starter. Physically, she’s brings all of the elements. Nice, curvy and healthy body, dark hair, nice skin tone and a thousand other attributes that I don’t want to get into. She’s Greek, represents the northeast and has the ability to be on all types of TV shows from Today to Entertainment Tonight. She’s a decent actress and a good interviewer.

Maria is also a producer and director, so she’s multi-talented. She’s into charity work and actually has a cool story of her getting into shape because she was unhealthy in her younger days. Also, she’s an athlete and competed in an AVP (professional beach volleyball) tournament.

2) Sarah Chalke. I usually don’t go for blondes, which will become apparent when you read the rest of this post, but I had to have Dr. Elliot Reed from Scrubs. I’m excited that the show is back on ABC, but that’s for another time.

While it’s important to have diversity in your career like Maria did to make the top-five, I also respect growth. Sarah wasn’t a hottie when Scrubs started. However, as the show developed, she went from dorky stick figure to cutie in good time. She’s Canadian and just became a US citizen, which is awesome because our kids would have dual citizenship and I’ve always wanted to visit Toronto. We could watch hockey and curling while listening to a Rush album! She’s fluent in German so moving to Berlin isn’t out of the question. She’s into charity work as well.

3) Gabrielle Union. She’s definitely the star and would serve as team captain. She is stunning, has a sick body and the best skin I’ve seen on a woman in a long time. I’ve been a fan of hers since Bring it On. She’s from Omaha, Nebraska, so you know we could go to a college football game together, it’s in her blood. Doing research on her, I found out that she dated Jason Kidd back in the day, whatever. Anyway, she has a degree in sociology from UCLA, so she has brains. She was in Love and Basketball, respect. Her acting resume is solid and everytime I see news on her lately, she’s at some party so you know she can get down.


4) Mila Kunis. She’s definitely the defensive stopper on our team and our glue player who makes everything else go. Born in the Ukraine, she was not only funny on That 70’s Show, she is the voice of Meg Griffin on the funniest show on TV, Family Guy. She was just in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, a funny movie. She’s Jewish, which is cool. She speaks several languages as well.

Here’s where it gets interesting kids: One spot left and its between Katherine McPhee and Ciara. Who do I choose?


5) Katherine McPhee. Damn that was a tough decision. First, Katherine, welcome back to the list! This is a celebration, bitches. Second, I talked about her as one of my Crushes of the Day about a week ago, so we know about her already.

Wait a minute, why must I choose only five women like in basketball. What if this was volleyball and I could have a sixth player, a libero? That’s right, we’re taking this to the next level. Introducing the top-six!!!!! Actually, it’s a top-five with a flex player.


5a) Ciara. I just couldn’t kick her off the list. That would have been cruel.

Her musical career speaks for itself. She’s from Atlanta, my former residence, so she gets points for that. She’s an excellent dancer and is in Nelly’s new song, Stepped on my J’z (that’s actually how the song is spelled) and looks tremendous in the video. Her acting is OK. I even sat through that volleyball movie she was in on MTV called All You’ve Got (I had to look it up). To be real, she’s in the starting lineup mostly for looks.
As owner of the team, you have to make some tough choices. Here were the ones who didn't make the starting lineup but are on the bench for the future (with the new ones in red text):





Christina Milian: She should have been on this list from the beginning. Solid performer, maybe dating Nick Cannon turned me off to her, but she’s someone to look out for in the future on my list.


Gina Carano aka Crush: She’s hot and she can kick my ass in the ring. That is all.


Rebecca Herbst: I’ve been in love with her character Elizabeth on General Hospital for as long as I can remember.


Lauren Graham: Look, this is looking like I like brunette white women only, that isn’t the case. Lauren is an underrated funny actress. Yes, I wanted an episode or two of Gilmore Girls back in the day and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I always thought that Alexis Bledel was cute but I was attracted to the mom more. Then I saw her in Bad Santa and I was feeling that change of pace. Finally, I caught her on the Bonnie Hunt show in October and was feeling that as well.


Rhoda Mitra: Just look at that picture. Done and done.


Kerry Washington: We have several connections. We’re only four years apart, she’s 31. She was born in the Bronx, NYC I was born in Brooklyn. She attended an all-girls private school in Manhattan, Spence. I attended an all-boys private school in Manhattan, Browning. I remember seeing her in Save The Last Dance and then in Ray. However, her role as a lesbian in She Hate Me, tremendous stuff. I also like that she’s active politically. Watch out for her. It doesn’t hurt that she has beautiful eyes and those lips, let’s just move on.


Sophia Bush: She’s probably the one most primed besides Christina Milian to make the jump to the starting lineup. I watched a little of One Tree Hill when it first came on but nothing stood out. Then I saw John Tucker Must Die and it was on. Now, this past summer, I got into some One Tree Hill repeats and got hooked. Now, I never miss an episode and its mostly because of Sophia.


Natalia Livinston- Hottest woman to ever be on General Hospital. You have to trust me on this one…actually it’s a tie between her and Alicia Leigh Willis but we’re stick with Natalia.


-Candice Parker. Still shocked that she’s on this list.


-Sarah Evans. Solid choice and she’s engaged to a former national champion-winning quarterback. Roll Tide! I can’t believe that I said that.


-Selita Ebanks. Docked some points for being engaged to Nick Cannon at a point but now she’s dating my boy, Osi Umenyiora of the SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS, THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS! Major, major points for that. Oh yeah, she’s a Victoria’s Secret model. That counted for something too.


-Rosario Dawson. I feel bad that she was not on the original bench. I just forgot about her. Tall, tan skin, funny, she is definitely a candidate for the starting lineup next time around. She kicked butt in Sin City, has a multi-cultural background, born in the NYC, very active in community service and just see the movie Alexander for the rest of the reasons she’s a winner.


-Persia White. Very underrated woman on an underrated show. Girlfriends is a good show and Persia plays my favorite character. The tattoos are hot, beautiful skin tone, excellent hair, I’m a fan. She is also strong into human and animal rights, so her head is in the right place. She’s also a musician. Good qualities all around.


-Diane Lane. Still on the Bench.


-Julia Louise Dreyfus. Another older woman that I wouldn’t mind spending time with. I had a huge, huge crush on her when she was on Seinfeld. I don’t know what it was. I think it was seeing a funny woman on television. Humor is such an underrated quality in a woman and it’s a turn-on for me. She’s doing a great job on her current show on CBS, which is a funny watch BTW. Plus, she’s loaded financially both from her career and her family, so she’s got money. Can’t argue with that.


- Yvonne Strahovski. She may be unfamiliar with many of you, but she crossed my radar recently from being on one of my favorite shows, Chuck. She’s Austrailian and has the sexiest accent. The trip is that on Chuck, she plays an American and hides the accent. I remember the first time I heard her speak on a talk show and I flipped out. She plays a secret agent and yeah, she’s hot. Also, she’s fluent in Polish. Please watch the show or look at some episodes online and you will understand why she’s on the bench.


-Kate Beckinsale. She does what she does.


-Charlize Theron. She’s African, so I wouldn’t be marrying outside of my race. Nice.


-Kristin Kreuk. Underrated. Another Canadian, so respect there. Potential sleeper to move up on the team, but I need so see some more from her.

To save time, here’s the rest of the bench:

Rachida JonesJessica White Alicia KeysBonnie Bernstein Tatiana AliLucy Liu
Kelly Hu Jaclyn Smith Jada Pinkett-Smith

Here are a final few women who aren’t on the bench, but I’ve signed to a minor league contract and can be called up at anytime in case of injury.

Roselyn Sanchez
Natasha Bedingfield
Susie Castillo
Sarah Palin
Blake Lively
Heidi Klum
Alicia Leigh Willis


Stephanie Rice



Sonya Richards



LoLo Jones



Leah Remini



Alicia Leigh Willis



Anna Ivanovic



Cat Osterman




That’s it. I would love to hear your opinions on my list and suggest some women for the team. I’m going to keep updating it every month.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What about Lyla Garrity from Friday Night Lights?