Time for a new segment on the Blog called Shows that Used to be the Business.
These are shows that I enjoyed back in the day. Here’s are the requirements:
1) It has to not air new episodes anymore (there will be an exception or two with remakes or updates of the show currently on air now. Yes, I’m referring to 90210. That’s not tonight but it may come up in the future.)
2) Been off the air for at least five years.
That’s all.
First show: Saved by the Bell
First memory: Interesting thing about Saved by the Bell for me. I actually didn’t really start watching it until the end of its run in 1993. For the first few years on Saturdays, I was doing stuff like Cub Scouts (Bobcats, Wolves, Bears and Webelows represent!) so I was never home to see it. However, by the time I reached around 11 or 12, I was done with that and saw the show.
I always thought that it was odd that they had every color represented at first. Even then, I didn’t like shows that tried too hard to be culturally perfect. However, after a few episodes, I was hooked and watching repeats over and over again till this day.
I remember the prime-time graduation episode on my birthday on May 22, 1993. I was twelve and was actually sad when the show signed off.
Favorite character (main): Hard not to go with Zach Morris on this one or Mark-Paul Gosselaar. That dude was the man who every dude wanted to be. He was the first one with a cell phone, got girls, avoided detention, got to tap that ass that was Kelly Kapowski (trust me, they were having sex which I will get to later), was a track and basketball star for some reason, even though one tore his knee up and the other made him disrespect his Native American heritage, was able to go to Dodger games during the day because he was Jewish, got 1502 on his SATs, got accepted to Yale and told them to stick it and stayed loyal to going to school in California, had a hot mom, surfed and many other characteristics that I can go on and on about.
But I’m going to go with Albert Clifford. Slater gets my vote because he was the athletic one. I dug the wrestling angles because even then, I was a fan of combat sports. He would have been an awesome mixed martial artist. He hooked up with Jesse who you knew was an undercover freak on the down low. The really feminist, intelligent women can get down if you catch my drift. OK, another topic for another day.
Favorite character (secondary): Tough call between three entities. Here they are in descending order:
3) Violet Anne Bickerstaff. I still think this was the best acting that Tori Spelling ever did, seriously. I liked her because it showed that Screech was actually a dude who could get another chick. I don’t understand why the producers didn’t include her in more episodes, if for anything to add some diversity to the plots. She was Screech’s girlfriend for a moment and then went away. Common theme for this show.
2) Tie between The Nerds and Ox: The Nerds always brought something to the table and were very funny. Ox was just a lug head that I would literally crack up anytime that he spoke. I was simple to please as a young kid.
1) The teachers and I’m not including Ms. Bliss: I’ll hit on Good Morning, Ms. Bliss later. However, for now, props to the writers for having entertaining teachers that each of us could relate to. This is the only time I’m going to cheat and look up some of these teachers names online.
Mr. Dewey was awesome, especially when he supervises detention and talks about how he’s going to try out for American Gladiators and karate chops the pencil in half, awesome. Mrs. Simpson was the British English teacher who couldn’t hear well. I’m still mad at that witch for making Zach and Kelly read Romeo and Juliet after they broke up, how dare she! Mr. Testaverde was the fast talking teacher which was cool.
Least favorite character (main): Lots of people are going to pick on Jesse in this spot which I can get. The whole environmentalist and I know more than you attitude was a turn-off. But I can’t vote for her because she gave me one of the most funny unintentional funny moments in TV viewing history with her addiction to caffeine pills and singing “I’m so excited” over and over again. Good stuff.
Screech was annoying as well but he was supposed to be. He did get pushed around too much like a pussy…cat for my liking but he was tolerable in doses.
This vote is going to the girl that I wanted to “get to know better” as a young boy, Lisa Turtle. The gossip and the fashion stuff just didn’t rub me the right way. Also, she could have at least let Screech get to second base with her. Seriously, the dude was obsessed with her and really cared for him. It’s the least she could have done. Actually, that’s a shame on Screech moment.
Samuel Powers is my least favorite main character, Lisa doesn’t deserve the vote.
Least favorite character (secondary):
1a) Motherfu*cking Jeff: He deserves a mention. Here are the guy rules that this jackass breaks when dating Kelly:
a) Steals Kelly from Zach. You don’t take another man’s girl
b) Dates a co-worker. I know that a restaurant isn’t exactly a corporate setting but you shouldn’t date someone you supervise as a boss.
c) Dates a high schooler. Look, we all wanted to kick it with Kelly. She was hot but dude, she’s in high school and you are that good looking and going to UCLA. You can get laid with girls your own age. How was he not sent to jail.
Eye Candy factor: Every guy that I knew was in love with Kelly or Tiffany-Amber in real life. She had all the qualities that you would want physically. Plus, her character was so darn nice. But they’re were two factors that made me a huge fan of hers.
First, she was a cheerleader. Second, and I realized this more later, she was a volleyball player. I think that guys like cheerleaders and all but we also like athletes as well or even more.
Lisa was excellent as well. I even had a moment when I was feeling Jesse.
The girls were able to see Zach and Slater. BTW, could they find any tighter outfits for Slater. My goodness, it looked like dude could barely breathe in those jeans and tank tops. For the ladies, I guess, but for the dudes watching, that was just uncomfortable.
Theme song out of five stars: It gets four solid stars. I knew all the words by heart and could probably think of it now if prompted. It loses some points with the “if a teacher pops a test, I know I’m in a mess.” First, it doesn’t rhyme. Second, how does a teacher pop said test? The video was cool and it got to the point where I could see every cut shot of a character at the beginning and know which episode it was from.
Favorite moments: Where do I begin. So, so many. Some secondary ones.
-Kasey Kasem showing up for a dance contest at the Max.
-The sleepover episode, you know what I’m talking about.
-Zach dressing up as a woman to make Screech feel better. The woman’s name was frickin Bambi. Man, I had a lot of free time back in the day.
-Zach gambling with the Valley wrestler that Slater could beat him. Teaching young children the values of gambling, nice.
-Sing it with me, “Friends forever, friends until the end!”
-The episode where the gang is put into married couples, showing me that I don’t want to get married for a long, long time.
-Slater saving the Max during the radio telethon
-Screech’s house party, teaching me to never have a house party, especially if I have expensive statues of dead musical icons lying around.
-The Miss Bayside episode. Classic
-The swimsuit calendar.
-Slater being afraid of needles.
-Play-by-play broadcasting of chess matches.
-Lisa as the hottest candy stripper ever.
-Female wrestlers.
-The Zack Attack
-The Senior Video Yearbook
-The Snow White play where Zack has to kiss Jessie
Two episode archs stick out:
1) When Jesse’s stepbrother comes into town from New York. I think these were maybe the two best episodes ever of the show from an arch prospective. I dug how Eric liked Lisa and stepped to her with that swagger. I remember when I saw Lisa driving Mr. Belding’s red convertible and crashing it. How did she crash it? Zack was trying to take a picture of Eric driving the car and the flash made her do it. Then, Eric has a group of students take the car apart, which should have been the game-winning move. However, he puts the car together by himself, according to the show, and that was the end of it. Oh yeah, there was Zach lying about being Jewish to go to the Dodgers vs. Mets playoff game and Screech videotaping it and watching it with Eric and pointing out Zack on the screen which had to be the worst best friend move ever.
2) Zack and Kelly break up: That whole story line made me sad. The two saddest moments for me were when Kelly told Zach at the costume ball that she was spending time with Jeff and didn’t want to date him anymore. I even remember Jesse and Slater singing a song and Zack and Kelly sitting on benches outside the gym and having one last dance. I actually shed a tear at that moment.
The second one was when Zack and Kelly had to read Romeo and Juliet in class after they broke up. That was rough.
Least favorite moments: There were three.
1) The whole Ms. Bliss episodes. Never liked them.
2) The summer on the beach house. Look, I’m as big of a fan of Leah Remini as anyone else, but I wasn’t feeling the beach house episodes.
3) Date Auction episode. Didn’t like it.
Not realistic moments/ WTF moments: It has to begin with Tori Scott. Where did she come from and where did she go after she left. Did she transfer out of school? Did she die? I have no clue and I don’t like these episodes anyway because Zach started dressing like a sailor. Seriously, look that crap up.
On a more general scale, the whole battle for Kelly by Zack and Slater was unrealistic for several reasons. First, both dudes were studs at that school. Why would they fight over one girl. Second, she probably had sex with one of them and then at that moment, the other one would fall back not pursue her anymore. What, they didn’t have sex on that show? Please. Third, and in the end, its about bros before an un-cool female term that rhymes with bros. I think that Zack and Slater would realize this.
Level of personal obsession: On a scale of 1-10, I was a solid 9 for years. I knew all the characters names, every episode within literally 10 seconds of seeing the first moments, the whole deal. If I’m ever in the gym or flipping channels and the show comes on, I stop and watch and still find enjoyment in it.
Cultural impact: There are so many people in my age group that at least like this show. Some love it like me but even the ones who didn’t really watch it know about it. Characters like Zack Morris, Screech, A.C. Slater, Kelly and even Mr. Belding have become clichés and if you say their names, everyone knows what you’re talking about.
Would this show work in 2009: I think that it would have to update itself some but the episodes now aren’t as dated as you think. If anything, I think more high schools are turning into Bayside High and less like the Gossip Girl and The O.C. type places. All races and types of people live everywhere now.
I think SBTB was unique back in the day but now it’s not far from the normal.
I’ve referred to it several times here but I think that they would have to address the fact that teenagers are more sexually active now and that may take away from the innocence of the show. You can’t get tied into the concept of “going steady” or kissing when you know that Zack and Kelly would have probably gotten down to some degree in 10th grade and then broken up and then Zack would have moved on to Jesse while Slater and Kelly have a run around. Lisa would probably have a guy or two on the low.
However, one thing wouldn’t change. Screech would be alone. 200 years from now, Screech would be alone.
These are shows that I enjoyed back in the day. Here’s are the requirements:
1) It has to not air new episodes anymore (there will be an exception or two with remakes or updates of the show currently on air now. Yes, I’m referring to 90210. That’s not tonight but it may come up in the future.)
2) Been off the air for at least five years.
That’s all.
First show: Saved by the Bell
First memory: Interesting thing about Saved by the Bell for me. I actually didn’t really start watching it until the end of its run in 1993. For the first few years on Saturdays, I was doing stuff like Cub Scouts (Bobcats, Wolves, Bears and Webelows represent!) so I was never home to see it. However, by the time I reached around 11 or 12, I was done with that and saw the show.
I always thought that it was odd that they had every color represented at first. Even then, I didn’t like shows that tried too hard to be culturally perfect. However, after a few episodes, I was hooked and watching repeats over and over again till this day.
I remember the prime-time graduation episode on my birthday on May 22, 1993. I was twelve and was actually sad when the show signed off.
Favorite character (main): Hard not to go with Zach Morris on this one or Mark-Paul Gosselaar. That dude was the man who every dude wanted to be. He was the first one with a cell phone, got girls, avoided detention, got to tap that ass that was Kelly Kapowski (trust me, they were having sex which I will get to later), was a track and basketball star for some reason, even though one tore his knee up and the other made him disrespect his Native American heritage, was able to go to Dodger games during the day because he was Jewish, got 1502 on his SATs, got accepted to Yale and told them to stick it and stayed loyal to going to school in California, had a hot mom, surfed and many other characteristics that I can go on and on about.
But I’m going to go with Albert Clifford. Slater gets my vote because he was the athletic one. I dug the wrestling angles because even then, I was a fan of combat sports. He would have been an awesome mixed martial artist. He hooked up with Jesse who you knew was an undercover freak on the down low. The really feminist, intelligent women can get down if you catch my drift. OK, another topic for another day.
Favorite character (secondary): Tough call between three entities. Here they are in descending order:
3) Violet Anne Bickerstaff. I still think this was the best acting that Tori Spelling ever did, seriously. I liked her because it showed that Screech was actually a dude who could get another chick. I don’t understand why the producers didn’t include her in more episodes, if for anything to add some diversity to the plots. She was Screech’s girlfriend for a moment and then went away. Common theme for this show.
2) Tie between The Nerds and Ox: The Nerds always brought something to the table and were very funny. Ox was just a lug head that I would literally crack up anytime that he spoke. I was simple to please as a young kid.
1) The teachers and I’m not including Ms. Bliss: I’ll hit on Good Morning, Ms. Bliss later. However, for now, props to the writers for having entertaining teachers that each of us could relate to. This is the only time I’m going to cheat and look up some of these teachers names online.
Mr. Dewey was awesome, especially when he supervises detention and talks about how he’s going to try out for American Gladiators and karate chops the pencil in half, awesome. Mrs. Simpson was the British English teacher who couldn’t hear well. I’m still mad at that witch for making Zach and Kelly read Romeo and Juliet after they broke up, how dare she! Mr. Testaverde was the fast talking teacher which was cool.
Least favorite character (main): Lots of people are going to pick on Jesse in this spot which I can get. The whole environmentalist and I know more than you attitude was a turn-off. But I can’t vote for her because she gave me one of the most funny unintentional funny moments in TV viewing history with her addiction to caffeine pills and singing “I’m so excited” over and over again. Good stuff.
Screech was annoying as well but he was supposed to be. He did get pushed around too much like a pussy…cat for my liking but he was tolerable in doses.
This vote is going to the girl that I wanted to “get to know better” as a young boy, Lisa Turtle. The gossip and the fashion stuff just didn’t rub me the right way. Also, she could have at least let Screech get to second base with her. Seriously, the dude was obsessed with her and really cared for him. It’s the least she could have done. Actually, that’s a shame on Screech moment.
Samuel Powers is my least favorite main character, Lisa doesn’t deserve the vote.
Least favorite character (secondary):
1a) Motherfu*cking Jeff: He deserves a mention. Here are the guy rules that this jackass breaks when dating Kelly:
a) Steals Kelly from Zach. You don’t take another man’s girl
b) Dates a co-worker. I know that a restaurant isn’t exactly a corporate setting but you shouldn’t date someone you supervise as a boss.
c) Dates a high schooler. Look, we all wanted to kick it with Kelly. She was hot but dude, she’s in high school and you are that good looking and going to UCLA. You can get laid with girls your own age. How was he not sent to jail.
Eye Candy factor: Every guy that I knew was in love with Kelly or Tiffany-Amber in real life. She had all the qualities that you would want physically. Plus, her character was so darn nice. But they’re were two factors that made me a huge fan of hers.
First, she was a cheerleader. Second, and I realized this more later, she was a volleyball player. I think that guys like cheerleaders and all but we also like athletes as well or even more.
Lisa was excellent as well. I even had a moment when I was feeling Jesse.
The girls were able to see Zach and Slater. BTW, could they find any tighter outfits for Slater. My goodness, it looked like dude could barely breathe in those jeans and tank tops. For the ladies, I guess, but for the dudes watching, that was just uncomfortable.
Theme song out of five stars: It gets four solid stars. I knew all the words by heart and could probably think of it now if prompted. It loses some points with the “if a teacher pops a test, I know I’m in a mess.” First, it doesn’t rhyme. Second, how does a teacher pop said test? The video was cool and it got to the point where I could see every cut shot of a character at the beginning and know which episode it was from.
Favorite moments: Where do I begin. So, so many. Some secondary ones.
-Kasey Kasem showing up for a dance contest at the Max.
-The sleepover episode, you know what I’m talking about.
-Zach dressing up as a woman to make Screech feel better. The woman’s name was frickin Bambi. Man, I had a lot of free time back in the day.
-Zach gambling with the Valley wrestler that Slater could beat him. Teaching young children the values of gambling, nice.
-Sing it with me, “Friends forever, friends until the end!”
-The episode where the gang is put into married couples, showing me that I don’t want to get married for a long, long time.
-Slater saving the Max during the radio telethon
-Screech’s house party, teaching me to never have a house party, especially if I have expensive statues of dead musical icons lying around.
-The Miss Bayside episode. Classic
-The swimsuit calendar.
-Slater being afraid of needles.
-Play-by-play broadcasting of chess matches.
-Lisa as the hottest candy stripper ever.
-Female wrestlers.
-The Zack Attack
-The Senior Video Yearbook
-The Snow White play where Zack has to kiss Jessie
Two episode archs stick out:
1) When Jesse’s stepbrother comes into town from New York. I think these were maybe the two best episodes ever of the show from an arch prospective. I dug how Eric liked Lisa and stepped to her with that swagger. I remember when I saw Lisa driving Mr. Belding’s red convertible and crashing it. How did she crash it? Zack was trying to take a picture of Eric driving the car and the flash made her do it. Then, Eric has a group of students take the car apart, which should have been the game-winning move. However, he puts the car together by himself, according to the show, and that was the end of it. Oh yeah, there was Zach lying about being Jewish to go to the Dodgers vs. Mets playoff game and Screech videotaping it and watching it with Eric and pointing out Zack on the screen which had to be the worst best friend move ever.
2) Zack and Kelly break up: That whole story line made me sad. The two saddest moments for me were when Kelly told Zach at the costume ball that she was spending time with Jeff and didn’t want to date him anymore. I even remember Jesse and Slater singing a song and Zack and Kelly sitting on benches outside the gym and having one last dance. I actually shed a tear at that moment.
The second one was when Zack and Kelly had to read Romeo and Juliet in class after they broke up. That was rough.
Least favorite moments: There were three.
1) The whole Ms. Bliss episodes. Never liked them.
2) The summer on the beach house. Look, I’m as big of a fan of Leah Remini as anyone else, but I wasn’t feeling the beach house episodes.
3) Date Auction episode. Didn’t like it.
Not realistic moments/ WTF moments: It has to begin with Tori Scott. Where did she come from and where did she go after she left. Did she transfer out of school? Did she die? I have no clue and I don’t like these episodes anyway because Zach started dressing like a sailor. Seriously, look that crap up.
On a more general scale, the whole battle for Kelly by Zack and Slater was unrealistic for several reasons. First, both dudes were studs at that school. Why would they fight over one girl. Second, she probably had sex with one of them and then at that moment, the other one would fall back not pursue her anymore. What, they didn’t have sex on that show? Please. Third, and in the end, its about bros before an un-cool female term that rhymes with bros. I think that Zack and Slater would realize this.
Level of personal obsession: On a scale of 1-10, I was a solid 9 for years. I knew all the characters names, every episode within literally 10 seconds of seeing the first moments, the whole deal. If I’m ever in the gym or flipping channels and the show comes on, I stop and watch and still find enjoyment in it.
Cultural impact: There are so many people in my age group that at least like this show. Some love it like me but even the ones who didn’t really watch it know about it. Characters like Zack Morris, Screech, A.C. Slater, Kelly and even Mr. Belding have become clichés and if you say their names, everyone knows what you’re talking about.
Would this show work in 2009: I think that it would have to update itself some but the episodes now aren’t as dated as you think. If anything, I think more high schools are turning into Bayside High and less like the Gossip Girl and The O.C. type places. All races and types of people live everywhere now.
I think SBTB was unique back in the day but now it’s not far from the normal.
I’ve referred to it several times here but I think that they would have to address the fact that teenagers are more sexually active now and that may take away from the innocence of the show. You can’t get tied into the concept of “going steady” or kissing when you know that Zack and Kelly would have probably gotten down to some degree in 10th grade and then broken up and then Zack would have moved on to Jesse while Slater and Kelly have a run around. Lisa would probably have a guy or two on the low.
However, one thing wouldn’t change. Screech would be alone. 200 years from now, Screech would be alone.
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