We are in a very important time of our lives as Americans. The Iraq war has been a disaster (hey, even the 10% of you that still support this farce have to admit that things aren’t going as well), people are losing homes, gas prices are high, the economy stinks, our kids are dumber than ever. However, there’s hope. We have a Presidential election coming up and a new regime will be coming in. I can make arguments for McCain or Obama and they would make sense. However, the bigger debate is…
Who would I like to “get to know better,” aka which one is hotter, Sarah Palin or Michelle Obama?
Before I get started, I know both are married women. We’re talking hypothetically here.
I find both appealing in their own ways. Let’s break these two down.
PS, these two are solid, but Rona Ambrose, Brenda Arenas and Barbara Bush were hotter. Look them up. OK, let’s get started:
Age: Palin- 44, Obama-44
Both women share the same age, so this one is a push. However, this allows me to speak about older women. In my limited interactions with women over the years, I tend to like them older than younger. They bring a maturity to the situation that is welcomed. However, since I’ve been in graduate school, I’ve been attracting the younger types, like sophomores and juniors. I’m 27, so I’m not that old but still up there.
Anyway, if I confronted each of these women, I would have no problems kicking it to them.
Advantage: Push
Children: Palin- 5, Obama 2
Let’s just say that either one of them ended their relationship or I met them. Palin has five kids with ages ranging from 18 to a newborn. Obama has two daughters aged 10 and seven. I was raised by a single mother, so I know what’s it’s like to see your mother dating someone who isn’t your dad.
How would I look picking up Palin when she has an 18-year old and 17-year old? True, I could play video games with them but they are too close to my age. Plus, I would have to help out with a newborn baby as well; I’m not ready for that.
With Obama, I would be in a much better role to help them out with their issues and the age difference would be greater, hence a better situation for all of us. You see how I am with my niece; it would most likely be similar to that.
Advantage: Obama
Attractiveness of husband: This is an important factor. The attractiveness of their mates shows their taste in men.
I’m not alone in saying this and I’m comfortable enough to say that Barack Obama is an attractive man. I can definitely see the appeal that he has on the ladies. He also has that charisma that makes him engaging. Todd Palin seems like a nice guy but doesn’t bring it in this category. This one is easy.
Advantage: Obama
Non-attractiveness of last boyfriend/husband: This is important because this is the dude that I have to follow if I started dating one of these women. The hope is that the previous dude didn’t bring much to the table so that I can look better in comparison.
This is the second-most easiest one. You want me to follow Barack? I’ll take my chances with Todd…Sorry Todd if you ever read this, it sounds like I’m picking on you but its not on purpose.
Advantage: Palin
Education level: I find intelligence a very attractive feature in a woman. Dare I say, it’s sexy to me.
Obama has an undergraduate degree in sociology from Princeton and a JD from Harvard. Palin went to FOUR different undergraduate schools before settling in to get her degree in communications-journalism from the University of Idaho. As much as I love the Vandals and college degrees don’t always equal intelligence (you should have seen some of the dumbasses that I graduated with at Vanderbilt), this one is sorta one-sided.
Advantage: Obama
How they met/married their husbands: You can tell something about a woman by how they met and married their husband.
Michelle met Barack when the two were the only Blacks in the law firm. Michelle was assigned to help Barack out because he was a summer associate. The couple’s first date was to see the Spike Lee movie, Do The Right Thing, an overrated movie, but a solid choice none the less. The rest is history.
Sarah eloped with her high-school boyfriend, Todd, when she was 24.
I try to think of which one I would fit under and I think I have to side with Michelle.
Advantage: Obama
Day job/level of power: The only thing underground sexier in a woman than intelligence is power. I love women who can have say in what’s going on.
Obama is currently the Vice President for Community and External Affairs at University of Chicago Hospitals. She’s also on the board of directors of some other companies. She’s also been an associate in a law firm, public sector positions in the Chicago city government and in 1993 before the Chicago Hospitals position, she became Executive Director for the Chicago office of Public Allies, a non-profit organization encouraging young people to work on social issues in nonprofit groups and government agencies.
For Palin, she had a short stint as a sports reporter at a local TV station. Then she became mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Eventually she became governor of Alaska. As governor, she has had a strong influence on major issues like energy, gas and oil because of the Alaska connection.
One can argue that Obama has a more prominent level of power because she has the ear of the potential most powerful man in the world. I also dig the non-profit stuff. But that doesn’t trump a governor and potential Vice President. I can also say she’s governor of frickin Alaska.
Advantage: Palin because she’s still a Governor
Physical hotness/underrated feature:
Before I start, I’m a guy, these are two women and I can talk about their physical attributes without being crude, I hope.
Both of these women are appealing. Michelle is very attractive and has a solid lower body, if you know what I’m saying. The hair style is a little too big for me. I would loosen that up a little bit more. Barack knew what he was doing. Her underrated feature are her eyes, they are very beautiful.
I can describe a lot about Palin but I’ll just say this. She’s like the sexy librarian every guy has fantasized about. It’s the glasses, oh lord the glasses are tremendous. It’s the hair being pinned up. It’s the lips. It’s the skin tone. I’m a fan.
Advantage: Palin
Speeches/talking skills: Both of them spoke at their respective political conventions, so I’ll use this as a reference.
Obama’s speech was great. She was authoritative, funny and showed that she’s her own woman despite her husband running for President.
Palin was solid in her speech as well. I like the whole “hockey mom” theme she’s going with. It works for her. However, that accent. It’s like Wisconsin and Minnesota had a baby in Canada. Not a fan.
Advantage: Obama
Who I can kick it with/sports: I’m not talking about in a sexual way; I’m talking about in a friendship, hey, what’s going on kind of way. Sports are a big part of my life so I would like to incorporate it into the friendship.
Obama seems like she would be chill but would smack me in my head if I said or did something stupid. She doesn’t fit into that whole “angry black woman” mold that some of the media tends to want to place her in, but you can tell that she has some attitude. I think that she would watch a sporting event that has a Chicago team in it but wouldn’t be flexible in any other case.
Palin would not be a pushover but it seems like it would be more laid back with her and I don’t want uptight friends. Furthermore, she’s down with hockey! Find me a snow bunny who’s down for some puck action and it’s on. I can then incorporate my love for WAC football and Big West basketball because she’s a west coast woman. She also played high school basketball and I love athletic women.
Advantage: Palin
Controversies: Obama hasn’t had too many all things considered. She got in some hot water for saying that “for the first time in her adult life, I’m proud of my country because it feels like hope is finally making a comeback.”
People got all pissy with that one saying that she isn’t a good American. Whatever. There are times that I’m pissed at this country. I still pay my taxes and love being an American, but that doesn’t mean I or Michelle has to be a happy citizen all the time.
That’s nothing compared to Palin’s daughter Bristol getting knocked up at 17-years old. Nice. However, her belief that polar bears shouldn’t be on the endangered list that I have a beef with. We all know a teenage mother or two, but what did the polar bears do to you Palin, what did they do? She also wants to mess with beluga whales!
I can’t cosign on that.
Advantage: Obama
Kinda weird thing known for: For Obama, it’s the fashion icon status that has developed with her. She’s bringing back that Jackie Kennedy look which is cool. She also makes more than her husband.
For Palin, its about being a lifetime member of the NRA. Guns=sexy.
Advantage: Palin
After major deliberations, we have a major upset on our hands. I thought that Palin would win this one, but Obama comes out on top, 6-5-1.
I’m actually shocked. To be honest with you, if it was straight physical, it would be Palin. However, I always say that it’s about more than looks and this debate settles it. If I missed a category or disagree with me, please list a comment below and I can take this further.
In honor of Michelle’s upset win, here’s Chicago-native Kanye West. This is still my favorite song of his.
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