Eliminate the Bullsh*t

Love that picture above. That's probably how I've looked the last few days.

What’s going on people. I actually feel sorta bad for my next to last post. I keep it very honest here on the blog and that can make it uncomfortable for some of you reading it.

I’m feeling better today than I did on Monday and Tuesday, but I’m not perfect. I have some things to work out and getting there. Two things did help me today that I want to share with you.

First, I was sitting in one of my classes on Wednesday night, not feeling great but prepared and more focused than ever on the material. Our teacher was asking us questions and wanted information and I was giving it to her because I understood the material. Furthermore, if I was going to feel bad, I was going to take it out on the material and channel my energy towards dominating my studies. In other words, eliminate the bullsh*t and get to work and stop bitching and do what I came here for.

One of my friends even told me to stop being so serious, but I was in a zone. Even when people were in class joking around, I was telling them to stop and get back to the studies because we had a lot to go over and I was there to learn and not play games.

I’ve been too laid back in my classwork and that needs to change. I used to be a badass in class, dare I say an asshole who didn’t joke around and was focused. That’s how I got damn near perfect grades at one of the hardest high schools in New York, graduated from Vanderbilt and am in graduate school now. I guess in a way, I’ve loosed up which I needed to do because you couldn’t live the way I did then and survive. But there is a balance that I can achieve.

However, I like being a cranky bastard at times. I like having the beard, not talking to anyone and looking mad and angry at the world. It's kinda cool to see people not want to cross you. I can't go my whole life like that but to have this feeling of internal rage is comforting once in a while.

Second, a while ago, I registered with an alumni database with my alma mater. I listed my contact information, job description and some other things like that. It allows current undergrads or really anyone in my alumni’s database to talk to be about whatever.

Earlier this week, I got an inquiry from a current sophomore named Kimberly wanting to speak with me for a project. I got the e-mail and responded within 10 minutes to tell her I was interested in it.

First, it was weird being called mister. I’m not that much older than her, but I thought that was funny. I prepared a packet of some of the content that I’ve done from my job like media guides, schedule cards, game notes, things like that.

I even reserved the conference room to make it official. I felt like a professional. She came in and was really nice and asked me questions about my job, how I ended up at Belmont, trends I see in my industry and everything like that.

I tend to be humble about my accomplishments and don’t like to brag about my skills. I know that I do my job well but feel like my actions and work will speak for itself. However, when Kimberly was asking me all of the questions, I started to realize that I’ve done a lot in my career to be proud of. Furthermore, I have a lot of things in my life that I should be proud of.

I’m used to being the young person in any situation but the transition is starting to happen that I’m the older guy. Kimberly looks at me as an established professional in the sports industry. I still view myself as a graduate assistant who is still young in the industry but in reality, I have more than three-years experience.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m getting older in a good way and maturing into the professional that I’ve always wanted to be. So what if I’m physically what I may not want to be right now or live in a place I want to live at or not developing relationships that I would like to have.

This whole life is a process that you have to go though and accept the path laid out for you. It was only a few years ago when I was in Michelle’s position asking people older than me for help on projects.

However, I will always feel like someone who needs to learn more and gain the knowledge of others.

Another thing that helped me clear my head from bad things was a project that I did in one of my classes today. We were given mock blank checks and were told that we were going to make a donation to a school five years from now. We had to put the money amount down and where we wanted the money to go. I listed one of the schools that I’ve attended and directed it for facilities because I saw a need to help in that category.

This made me realize that I was going to be in this position sooner rather than later. I’m going to be a sports professional doing what I’ve been grinding for so hard right now. All of this effort is for a reason.

So the message in all of this is that while none of us may be where we want to be in life, eliminate the bullsh*t and keep pushing for what you want. Will I make my goals and get to where I want to go? Maybe, maybe not. I don’t know that and neither do you.

But I know that I’m going to bust my ass to make the best effort possible. Until then, good night.