I'll Never Understand Women, Part I

Welcome to my first and surely not my last edition of I’ll Never Understand Women.

I mentioned Maria last week. For a recap, http://pourtoutpancakes.blogspot.com/2008/08/meeting-maria-and-reflecting-on-my.html We were supposed to get together two Saturdays ago, but she had a family member in town, so that didn’t happen. Last Sunday, I invited her to 'Pancakes,' and she said she would try to make it, but she didn't come, which isn't a big deal.

On Tuesday, we text each other back and forth and she tells me she gets out of class at 9 p.m. on Wednesday, the same time that I do. I ask her if I can call her after class and we can hang out at Bongo Java, nothing major. Those are the exact words that I used. She said that was fine. Wednesday night rolls around and it's around 8:55 p.m. and I leave a message on her voicemail. I then sit outside the curb cafe waiting to hear from her whether she could hang out or not. I then texted her at 9:10 p.m. to ask her if she received my voicemail. Nothing.

As I'm about to walk home, I look to my right and I see her talking to someone. She finishes her conversation and walks right past me without saying anything. I then happen to follow her because we live in the same direction from campus. I'm walking about 10 feet behind her because I want to head home. The whole time I'm thinking that she may not have seen me and I wanted to confirm that it was her. Then I saw her handbag, which is unique. Maria just blew me off! It gets worse. She looks back towards my direction while she was walking and she glances at me, keeps talking on the phone and keeps walking. It was dark outside and maybe she didn't see me, but she was on the phone, so I know that she received my messages. Maria then turns the corner and heads home. I head home and am just confused by the whole thing. I haven't heard back from her and she usually texts me a few minutes after I normally send a message.

I’m not trying to date Maria, I really am not. I just wanted to make a new friend and I guess that’s not going to happen now.

I was down about this but then three things happened.

1) I told Joan about it and she gave me some good advise on the situation.

2) I told another good friend, New York Jen and she gave me some good prospective.

3) I saw Amber and I felt better immediately. We talked and I realized something…

While, I will never completely understand women at least I know some good ones are around me in my life like Joan, Jen and Amber.

In true style, all three are in relationships. Every type of woman that I’m attracted to that would be someone that I can potentially have a relationship with is ALWAYS dating someone else.

I do know this. I’ve pretty much put a wrap on pursuing women for a long time. I have too much going on in my life with work and school.

I’m a nice guy who heaven forbids like to have a conversation with you and get to know you better. I’ve learned that I can’t play that aloof, “ignore/act like a jerk around her” game. I don’t just want to hook up with you and leave and be a jackass. However, it seems like my emotions get taken advantage of and kicked on constantly.

I’ve gone through too many instances of wanting to date someone like Joan to end up alone. I’ve mentally focused on trying to date someone like Amber to end up just wondering why someone like her never likes to date me.

After 27 years, I can’t take the rejections anymore.

I know that one day, I’ll meet that woman who will be special in my life but it hasn’t happened once and it may not ever happen. I’m OK with that though.

As we say in the mixed martial arts world, I’m tapping out from dating and instead of from something like a rear naked choke or triangle arm bar, its from fatigue of rejection.