Random Observation: Online Dating

I’m going to try something different for this week with my Observations. Instead of spouting out five or six in one posting, I’m going to focus on one and elaborate more on it.

Music to listen to: Flat Beat by Mr. Oizo



One of my favorite music videos ever. If I was ever a baseball player and had to have a walkup batting song or pitching song, this would make the top-five for consideration.

Crush of the Day: Julia Louis-Dreyfus

This is going to be Cougar Week here on the Blog. What is a Cougar, you ask. Well, it’s an older woman that you find attractive and want to spend some extra time with. Cougars are interesting because at my current age right now, I’m right at the age where I’m getting a little too old for the women in their early 20’s but I’m right at the solid age for women in their mid-30’s. Fun times for me indeed.

I’ve had a huge crush on her since Seinfeld, so this one is a given, especially since she’s come back into relevance with the New Adventures of Old Christine on CBS, which is actually a funny show.

She attractive, funny and rich! Seriously, look her up. She’s an heiress to a billion dollar company. That sounds like a winner to me.

This Observation is on online dating.

I don’t know how it came up but I was speaking with the People’s Champion and this topic came up. We were talking about my tapout and alternative ways that I can possibly meet women.

We talked about going to social gatherings like church, speed dating, which I seriously want to try at least one. I think that would be a fun time.

Online dating came up and not only do I not oppose it, I’m practicing it right now.

Yes, I’m an online dater. I’m hanging my head in shame…heck no I’m not. There is nothing to be ashamed at for doing this.

Its something that I did at the suggestion of a friend and its been interesting interacting with women from around the country without actually meeting them face to face accept for the rare occasion.

Here’s how I look at it. Currently, my social circle really consists of my co-workers and my classmates at school. Those are small circles, especially when some people cross over into both of them. I live hours away from my family so they aren’t a consistent source for me.

I think for someone to be successful in dating, actually, let me take that back.

What do you define as successful in dating? Is it having numerous sexual partners in a set period of time? Is it finding someone that you can start a family with? Is it someone that you want to have as a friend to spend time with no physical intimacy? Or is it someone you want to enjoy an evening with once in a while?

All of these and many others are acceptable answers for success. I’ve felt at one moment in my life at least one of them was my goal. What do I define as successful dating? Glad you asked.

I don’t believe in successful dating in terms of numbers. I don’t have to have X amount of dates over a set period of time. I also don’t have to reach physical or mental thresholds with a woman to make it a worthwhile experience.

Really, for me, I look at it as being a minor league baseball player trying to make it to the major leagues. Let me explain.

For years, for whatever reason, whether it be focusing on school, low self confidence, bad luck, etc. I didn’t date at all. Not in high school, not in college and not even after I graduated from that.

I don’t know the reasons why, but I don’t like to look back at my past in this regard and strive to move forward. Long story short, its like I’ve finally been signed by a minor league team, granted at an older age.

While some of you may have reached the major leagues at 21, 23 or even 18, I’m still learning how to play the game at 27. I’m finally learning how to swing a bat properly, make defensive plays, etc. Of course, this means I strike out a lot and make tons of errors.

This baseball analogy does fit, just work with me.

I make mistakes like contacting women that I’m interested in too often. I misinterpret interaction with women sometimes as her being interested in me when its just her being friendly. I’m still trying to learn to see when a woman is interested in me and to take advantage of it. These are my strikeouts and errors.

The point is that I need to continue to get at-bats and play the field if I’m going to get better. This is where online dating comes in.

Its not my only source of meeting women. I have friends who have friends and that works sometimes. I go out to events, which I really should do more of.

The key is that I’m not going to be successful if I’m sitting at home and not being proactive, or for the analogy, sitting on the bench.

Ultimately, what am I trying to say? I don’t look at success in dating in tangible terms. I’m not looking for a particular type of woman to become my girlfriend, wife, cuddle buddy, friend with benefits, etc.

I don’t have any expectations. I may not meet that “special someone,” which is a bull crap concept by the way, online but maybe I will. You and I don’t know that. The important thing is that I get to the field, step in the batter’s box and hit a home run and not singles, if you know what I’m saying.

Ha, you see what I did there, with the home run meaning…ok, I think I’m done here.

What are your opinions on online dating or alternative dating practices in general? Do you even consider online dating alternative?

You can keep it anonymous in the comments section if you want, that’s fine.