Ok, final reflection for this Sunday night.
I had a good conversation with Rob, a good buddy of mine yesterday. He’s been out of town the past few months training and was back in Nashville. We were just talking about life and staying focused.
Of course the conversation turned to women, like it always does and both of us stated that we were not going to focus on women because we have major priorities coming up in our lives. He has his athletics and I have school and work.
I really want to dominate this year at Belmont and in the Nashville sports community. This will be my final year of school and I graduate in May. Until then, I want to continue making major inroads with all of the sports teams and organizations here, as well as continue to do a great job at Belmont. I really owe it to the athletic department, my co-workers, the coaches, student-athletes and myself to give a maximum effort.
I’ve lost focus on this, but it’s coming back.
It’s a trip because when I mentioned Tuesday before last that I wanted to talk about something personal: http://pourtoutpancakes.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-stray-cat.html. Of course it was about a girl, which is unfortunately typical at times for those of you who read this blog consistently.
It’s really bad, especially since she’s dating someone else and I really shouldn’t even be concerned about her in the least. She definitely isn’t concerned about me in a special romantic way. Anyway, I thought that she was mad at me and that we had a falling out.
Funny thing happened thought after that. I talked to a female friend named Watson and we discussed my situation with this girl from the very beginning and all of our interactions to get an objective opinion. After talking with Watson, I decided that I couldn’t let my emotions get entangled in someone that wasn’t available to me and would never date me.
Don’t get it twisted; I know that I’m a good guy who has many qualities. She’s a great girl too also. She just doesn’t like me in that way, which is fine. She obviously has an interest in another guy, is happy in that situation which makes me happy for her.
I was doing so good to not get emotionally attached to this girl, but it happened, I’m human. However, after our interaction that night and speaking with Watson, I was over it.
So I saw my lady friend earlier this week and we talked and interacted like we normally would. Much ado about nothing I guess on my end, but it was a good release for me. We’re cool now.
You can’t force something that isn’t there and I was talking myself into forcing myself into her life, if that makes sense. She doesn’t want me in her life in that way, but she has helped me on many levels.
I’ve actually improved my interaction with and learned more about women through speaking with her. She’s taught me how to become a better listener. She’s improved my eye contact because she has beautiful eyes to look at. She’s taught me to not just place women in structured categories because she crosses over many of them. She’s taught me that there are actually women out there who like sports the same way that I do and would potentially stay up and watch WAC football, mixed martial arts or West Coast Conference basketball with me. She restored my faith in the Midwest, even thought the baseball team she likes I can do without (just kidding if she reads this). She’s even taught me that curse words from a cute girl can actually be awesome.
Overall, she has shown me that there is a woman out there for me who will actually like me for me. I’ve been completely honest with her and acted like myself, no bullshit. The curse was for her. I could have never said that in my entire life until now.
Usually with women, I’m putting on a front and trying to act different. I can honestly tell you that I haven’t tried any lines with her or acted weird. I’ve been completely myself with her and its been great. This blog wouldn’t be as honest as it is and I wouldn’t have been able to deal with my true feelings of life if it wasn’t for her.
There’s a woman out there for me, it just isn’t her. I just have to continue to live my life and hopefully that special someone will emerge.
Speaking with Rob has brought these emotions full circle and I’m ready to emerge a better man.
This week, I’ll have posts on the following topics and others:
-Why if marriage is like this, why the hell get married? Here’s the article/story I’ll base my post on for a preview: http://deadspin.com/5025638/your-nfl-season-brownie-point-calculator
-Updated top-five women (I promise)
-Favorite Family Guy moments (I also promise this one)
-MMA Review on Friday
For now, here’s a cover of No Quarter by Tool that I was listening to while making this post. I also had some Massive Attack playing. Its always mellow music on Sunday nights for my Reflections. Have a good week!
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