When is a friendly meeting maybe a date but not a date

So when is a date not a date?

I finally had my lunch with Alicia today. It was good seeing her.

I’ve mentioned her in previous posts so I won’t go over everything again. Just read them.

I decide on a place to meet and I’m sitting outside in the hot weather trying not to sweat and look like a hot mess when she comes. I finally see Alicia and she looks beautiful, even better than she did in college. Actually, she’s always been beautiful with the cutest big brown eyes and smile. I’ve always been a fan of hers, if you know what I’m saying.

So, we hug and enter the place. I open the door for her and make sure that she sits down at the table first. Manners, fellas, manners.

Now, if you’ve read this blog, you know that my dating life isn’t the strongest, so I was actually nervous approaching this lunch. I then told Alicia that this lunch was on me to show her that I’m a baler and shot-caller, always a necessity.

We chat about what’s going on in our lives, actually I take that back. I ask Alicia questions about what’s going on in her life and just listen. One thing that I do know about dating and my interactions with women is that, and I know that it’s a stereotype, they tend to talk a lot. The funny thing is that I’m a big talker too and that’s hurt my dating in the past.

I told myself before we even met up that I would be quiet for most of the “date” and just listen to Alicia. One, I actually wanted to know what she’s been up to because she’s very interesting and two, I need to work on my listening skills and this is was great practice.

Alicia tells me about her jobs in teaching and how she’s recently become highly involved in the Presidential campaign of one of the candidates. Its either Obama or McCain, I can’t tell y’all. During all of this, I just continue to ask her questions and she’s happy to keep talking. She talks about living in Los Angeles and Atlanta, her teaching job and everything in between.

This made my job so much easier. Alicia would then ask me about what I was doing in my life and I told her about school, being an SID, sports and other things. However, I would only speak for about 10-20 seconds and bring it right back to Alicia.

The good thing about our lunch was the eye contact and body language. I kept looking right into her eyes whenever she was talking and made sure that I listened to every word that Alicia said so that I could respond accordingly. Have I mentioned how cute she is? I also made sure to not talk with my mouth full. Good things all around.

Everything is going well and we even talked about our families, since it was father’s day a few days ago. Alicia talked about her father being in Atlanta for the weekend and things like that. I even opened up about the strained relationship I have with my father and the complicated scenario that has developed. She even seemed sympathetic to all of it, but I told her and tell you that the Pourtouts/Greys work in a strange way. I never talk about my family life with outsiders accept the iconic and hero to the common man, Sean Sawyer.

Then the lunch got interesting. I started talking about how I’ve opened my life up more and stopped becoming a hermit. I mention how the Blog is a representation of this. Alicia mentioned that she reads the blog once in a while and asked me what was going on with Amber. I told her that nothing was there, we’re just friends and that I was single and just living life.

Things were going so well between us that I asked what her relationship status was. Alicia tells me that she’s officially seeing someone that she has been friends with for a long time.

I was disappointed, but not devastated. I don’t meet too many girls that I vibe with on a major level. Furthermore, Alicia knows me from the early days before I became the stud that I am today*.

I didn’t know Alicia’s dating status before we met up and even if she told me she was dating someone before we met, I would have still done the lunch. I really wanted to catch up with her in person. The key is that I came into this lunch with no expectations of anything. If I came into it with the belief that I would be meeting a future lady love of my life, I would have been sad.

However, as I’ve stated in my interactions with Amber and Joan, I don’t try to officially label things at this stage of my life.

So the bill comes and I want to make Alicia pay for her check because her meal cost more*. However, I pay for our lunches and I walk with Alicia to her car. She tells me I don’t have to walk her to her car, but I see all of the people in the movies do it, so why not me, right? We continue to talk and discuss future plans in our lives and things like that. The conversation throughout was outstanding.

Another thing I need to work on is the art of the couple walk. I was walking really fast and almost past her, however Alicia was doing this very, very slow trot so that we can talk more. I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing, I need your advice.

I finally walk her to her elevator she gives me another hug and tells me that it was great seeing me again. I tell her the same thing. Alicia then tells me that when I come back into Atlanta, I should give her a call so that we can get together again and alcohol should be involved. She was kidding about that last part, I think and I hope.

That my friends is how a lunch with an old friend can turn from a get together to a date to not a date to a friendly walk to a potential invitation for a pseudo date later on even though she says she has a boyfriend.

I think that covers it. It was awesome meeting up with Alicia again. However, I need to know what to make of the events today. Please leave your comments about this on the post. I want this one to start a good debate.

Several factors to consider. I live in Nashville and she lives in Atlanta. However, I’m in Atlanta often because the family lives here. I head back to the ‘Ville later this week, but will be back later in the summer.

I was watching some of the NBA Finals while doing this post, but when I saw that “Beyond the Pale” was on Comedy Central, the most awesome comedy special ever by Jim Gaffigan, it’s been on. Here’s a clip from the show, I seriously recommend this.

*just kidding