While I was in Estill for the funeral, I caught up with my cousin, Chanel, and her fiancé. Chanel and I grew up as best friends from birth to high school and are now reconnecting, which is great. Their wedding is in August and I’ll be there, probably crying my eyes out with tears of joy.
Yeah, I’ll cry at a wedding in a second. Just keeping it honest.
So, you know what this meant. I had to reflect on the closest I’ve ever considered getting married. The answer is never. I’ve just never met anyone that I would seriously get married to, accept possibly two women. The first one was Sarah, who I’ve documented in an earlier post here: http://pourtoutpancakes.blogspot.com/2008/04/she-just-wants-to-be-my-friend.html.
The second person is someone back home in New York named Brittany.
We met in church when I was nine and she was 13. I’ll never forget our first meetings. She was petite, had beautiful brown skin, dark hair, wore glasses and was the nicest person I ever met. She was a Girl Scout and I was a Cub Scout, so we crossed paths a lot. We became very close, like brother and sister.
Our parents had us very active in church, so when you spend a lot of time with someone who is cool, you just grow closer.
Like any friendship like that between a boy and girl, I didn’t have direct feelings of liking Brit until I got to about 13 years old. All of a sudden, Brit went from like an older sister to bookworm hot in no time. Then I started crushing on her hard. It was embarrassing. Every time I would speak to her, I would get all nervous and not be able to look at her. And I know that she knew that I liked her because girls can sense that stuff easily.
Brit was very nice about it and stayed my buddy through that weird phase and by the time I was 15 or 16, I was back to my normal self and we continued to get closer.
It was an interesting relationship because we used to always chat, hold hands, hug each other, stuff that would constitute dating, but we never dated.
I also became close to her mother, father and older brother to the point that I considered them part of my family as well to this day.
Her father was possibly the biggest positive male influence in my life when I was a teenager, her brother and I were very close and her mother was like a second mother to me. Even our mothers became best friends. It was a trip.
I have so many memories of my time with Brit. Going to church retreats, being ushers together, attending concerts and everything in between. We would talk for hours and not even notice how much time we were spending together.
The great thing about Brit then and now is that she challenged me. She has always made me think about my opinions because Brit is the first one to call me out on something I said. She’s just a strong Black woman who makes me a better person every time I speak with her or see her.
She also taught me how to be a good listener, have good eye contact with women and how to make the ladies laugh. Brit taught me the act of communication.
The reason I think that we never dated officially was that she was four years older than me. We were always in different phases of our lives. When she was entering high school, I was in junior high. When she went to college at Pittsburgh, I was just entering high school. Finally, when I left for college at Vanderbilt, she was back in the NYC. Our dating paths never crossed.
We’ve reconnected the past few months and that’s been a joy. She graduated from Columbia grad school and is in the social work industry helping out unfortunate people in Harlem back in New York. Brit is also writing again and I’m looking forward to reading her work.
She’s been a major influence in my life. Brit was one of the first people to encourage my interest in sports and make it a career. She would quietly listen to me talk endlessly about the ball game like it was the most important thing in the world. Her support was amazing and she always told me that I could do anything I wanted in my life.
Its crazy how the women that I’ve been attracted to over the years have resembled Brit. From her physical features to her personality, I like women who have Brit’s qualities. I even have a thing for women who are older than me and wear glasses. I wonder where I got that from?
So, you’re reading this and saying to yourself, hey dude, why don’t you just date Brit? Forget about Alicia, Amber, Joan and all of these other girls you write about and date your old buddy. Excellent question grasshopper, but its not that simple.
For one, we live in different cities. That’s a factor I guess. I will say this, if we lived in the same city, I think that we would date. We have too big of a bond to not at least give it a shot.
But there’s always that fear that if you start dating someone that you’re close friends with, then if the breakup happens, the friendship is ruined forever. This is a possibility to consider.
All of these issues are easily solvable however. We still communicate and have an unofficial marriage pact that has become popular. I think it’s if none of us is married in 10 years, we would give it a go.
For now, we’ll continue to talk to each other and live our lives. If there’s anything that I’ve learned from the past year about relationships is that they can’t be forced. If both of our paths cross in the future, then I’ll see what happens from there. Brit is dating and doing her thing and I am as well.
Well, guess who’s going to be in the NYC for Chanel’s wedding in August? Me. Furthermore, who am I going to meet up with when I get back to Brooklyn? Let’s just see what happens.
Until then, I’m going to live my life, keep it moving and let things come to me as they come. But if that special someone comes to me, she may have to compete with Brit because if I meet someone just as special as Brit to spend the rest of my life with, then I’m the luckiest guy in the world.
Here’s some Mr. Oizo. War Flat Eric!
No comments:
Post a Comment