Advice we can all use

Earlier this month on the great sports blog, Deadspin, there was an article written about a message to the graduates of the Class of 2008 in college. Here’s a link to the article for reference, it’s a good read: http://deadspin.com/5015813/a-special-balls-deep-message-to-the-class-of-2008

The article has some good points and the comments section also provided some good advice that can relate to life in general.

I know that I’m five years removed from graduating from college and I still can use as much knowledge as I can. So, I’m going to list all of the advice points/messages from the article and give my thoughts on them.

Graduation commencement speeches are pointless: I’ve detailed my memories of my college graduation in a past post here: http://pourtoutpancakes.blogspot.com/2008/05/my-graduation.html. At my school, we don’t have guest speakers. Instead our current Chancellor gives a message of hope. I really didn’t care too much for it and was just concerned with staying cool on a hot afternoon.

Watch all of the sports you can now: Luckily for me, I work in sports. I get paid to follow sports, to a certain degree. I have to know about the athletics of the school I work for and the conference, but everything else is just gravy. I’m not married, single and have no children, so I have a lot of free time to enjoy the ball game. However, you can get burnt out on sports. I like being the smartest sports person that I know, I mean that seriously. I haven’t met anyone that can touch me with knowing so much about every sport, even ones that I don’t care much for like golf. It’s a tough balance, but for now, I get my fill.

But to go into this point further, it seems like there’s this perception among men that once you get married, you have to give up all of your interests, sports included, and become a wimp who enjoys none of your hobbies anymore. If you’re a sports fan and your wife gets mad at you every time that you want to watch a ballgame or hang out with you buddies, reevaluate your wife situation. I’m not saying that you should hit the bars every night. Spend time with your wife. However, if she isn’t willing to allow you to follow your interests, that’s a problem. Also, get into her interests as well, make it balanced. If your wife gives you grief, that’s a shame on you moment, I’m just saying.

What, you got a job already: The point of this one is that you will move back home after you graduate college. I did and lived with family for three years before I moved out on my own. Take advantage of this opportunity as much as you can, because once you reach a certain age, you can’t live home again unless it’s an extreme circumstance.

On this same front, be prepared to have misunderstanding parents who don’t get your career. My mother will never understand why I’m in graduate school barely making money to live and taking loans out when I have a college degree from one of the best schools in the nation. She thinks that I should be making big bucks right now, but the reality is that in sports, it’s a grind to get to where you want to go. She even joked that when I graduate from grad school next year, I should be getting a salary around $40,000-$50,000. Maybe in two or three years. She doesn’t get it, but she loves me and supports me. Just be prepared for people to not get that you won’t make money when you first get out of school, which brings me to my next point…

Your first job will suck and you will not work for a cool company: My first job after college actually wasn’t bad. I was an intern for a fashion magazine and made no money. I learned a lot though. My first real job was working at a financial public relations firm in Atlanta about a year after I graduated. The pay was good and it helped me establish myself as an individual. In the end, I found my calling volunteering on the game day staff at Georgia Tech athletic events, which I didn’t get paid for at first.

I’ve lived in three different cities in three years. I’m technically a graduate assistant and get school paid for and get a stipend, which compared to other situations, is amazing. However, when your friends from college are making high five-figures and owning homes while you struggle in your small apartment and living check to check, it’s going to be rough. But if you find out what you like to do with your career, it will all work out in the end, you have to believe that.

Furthermore, work can’t be about money. Make sure that you’re fairly compensated for your work however. If your job pays you say $20,000 but you know that someone else will pay you more, treat you better and help your career more, take the new job. However, if you’re doing your work purely for money, your interest will end soon. You may make some cash and be good financially, but you will most likely be unhappy.

Don’t go to law school: If you want to be a lawyer, that’s cool. Just make sure that you are cut out for the lifestyle and actually want a legal career. I worked in the law school library of my school and people would be in school to do some other things then law. Why spend all of that money for three years? Go to business school. Its only two years, the skills you pick up translate to any profession and it’s more laid back. Or you can go to graduate school in your chosen profession field. Just make sure that’s what you want to do. I can’t do all of this stuff for sports management and decide to be a doctor. However, I want to work in sports, so it’s all good for me.

Live and work in New York City for a year: I totally agree with this. I’m biased because it’s my hometown, but it does make you a stronger person. Furthermore, the NYC allows you to see different cultures in action and makes you realize that you’re just one person among millions. It humbles you and that’s good for you.

Unless you work in the fashion industry, never wear a polo shirt with your company’s emblem in it: Me turn down free clothes, please. I work in a college athletic department. Our school’s logo is on everything, so this doesn’t apply to me.

In relation to this however, people tell you that you should dress for the job that you want. That’s true and not true. If you work in a corporate office where everyone wears a tie, wear a tie. However, if you work in a business casual office, don’t wear suits everyday. You may think that you’re dressing great, but believe it or not, a coworker or two will resent you inside because you look like you’re trying to prove that you’re above them. I know that sounds crazy, but I’ve been told this multiple times. If you like to wear suits in that type of environment, only do it a few times a week. On Fridays, wear a polo and some nice slacks and you will blend in with everybody.
For the ladies, be careful of what you wear, because men are men. If your skirt is too tight or high, we’re going to notice. If your blouse is too low cut that we can see cleavage, we’re going to talk about it. Even that male boss that you have who is married with kids and seems so respectful will talk about how you dress with the male co-workers because he’s a man. It happens.

Also, every place I’ve worked has always had a ranking of the cutest women in our office, bosses and married people included. It doesn’t mean that we’re going to act unprofessional and practice sexual harassment; it’s just that guys do that stuff. It stays between us and we move on.

So ladies, just be careful.

Never do your taxes by hand: I always do my taxes by hand and no problems there.

The only pick-up line you should ever use at any time is “Hi, my name is (whatever your name is, likely Tyler or Taylor or something like that).”: I agree with that. Just introduce yourself to someone that you’re interested in. If he or she just rejects you coldly, then screw that bitch or bastard.

If everyone else is dancing, you should dance too: I don’t like to dance at all. However, I think you can take from this statement that you should be open to things in life. If your co-workers are watching a ballgame at the bar even though you can’t tell the difference between a touchdown and home run, go anyway. If you’re talking with someone and they start discussing a topic you have no idea about, just ask them kindly to repeat what they said and explain it in more detail. You may learn something.

People are frickin idiots: The article uses another F word, but I try to keep it clean here. I don’t think that people are idiots per se, but that they aren’t as intelligent as you think. Never look at someone and say, wow, they’re so much smarter than me I don’t compare to them. Screw that attitude.

It also helps to be a little selfish and let people live in their own way. If someone wants to drink every night, do drugs, have sex with anything that moves and kick puppies, let them do it and don’t stick your nose in their lifestyle. If you don’t like gay people yet someone you know declares himself a homosexual, let them be. Not everyone has your beliefs in life and they shouldn’t either. Do you want to live a society where everyone shares the same opinion and beliefs as you do? That’s what cults and organized religion are for and neither one has the best history in society.

If a girl playfully punches you in a conversation, you can hook up with her: I don’t know if that’s totally true, even though I’ve heard that if she touches you, that’s a good sign. Just be careful with that one.

Don’t smoke Crack: Don’t do drugs in general. That leads to some bad stuff.

I’m not an angel and will tell you that I haven’t experimented in the past. However, just get that phase out of our system. As cool as it sounds to be a stoner when you’re 40, you’re still a stoner at 40. Let it go.

Here are things you should go name brand on:

-Cereal
-Oatmeal (most important one)
-Toilet paper
-Peanut Butter and Jelly

Be extra nice to the people who handle your food: I can’t say this clearer. They handle your food. They can mess up your night real fast, if you know what I mean. If your waiter is being rude, don’t act like an ass because they can do stuff to your food. Just be polite with your complaints.

Be nice to people who work in retail: I worked in retail for a year and it’s a thankless job. Also, be nice to the clerk when you’re returning an item, because that’s the biggest pain in the ass to do. Furthermore, try to return stuff where you got it from. It may seem easy to leave those socks in the pants section, but the clerk has to return that stuff and that’s extra work. If you don’t want to return it in the original section, drop it off at the front counter. Your future clerk will thank you.

Also, tip well; especially at places you go to often. It matters.

Avoid STD’s: If you’re inclined to have sexual activities, please protect yourself. It’s so simple. There are so many forms of protection, it’s not funny. Wear that condom, use that lube or cream, take that pill. Be safe out there, for real.

Don’t be married under 30: There’s no rush. If he/she is cool when you’re 25, they will be the same at 30 if that person is right for you. Marriage compromises you so much in relation to where you live, what job you have, how often you see family and friends. Why rush into that, because once you get married, you can look forward to 30-40 years of sitting in the house watching the news together.

Furthermore, communicate with your future wife/husband. Make sure that each of you shares the same opinion on things like home ownership, kids, sexual activity, education and everything else. If you want four kids and she wants none, that’s a problem. If you want to live in Seattle in five years while she wants to go to school in Miami, work that out. Go to therapy or marriage counseling BEFORE you get married.

Go home and get stoned at least once a quarter during lunch: I don’t condone drug usage so I can’t co-sign on that one.

I will say this, take advantage of your vacation time. I know that you want to impress your boss and work every hour possible and take no time off, but that will burn you out quickly. You will start to resent that job and perform poorly. If you finish work early on a day, just ask your boss if you can go home early. They will most likely say yes. Live your life and don’t get obsessed with work. You have to have balance.

Learn to say “screw it”: Things in your life are going to happen that are outside of your control. Just accept it and you will be a lot happier.

Learn the art of networking: Become friends with other people in your job industry in your city and nationally. Join organizations like PRSA for public relations people. They know about job openings before they’re published officially.

Also, network your friends. They may know of someone that you could date.

Never trust your bank balance online: Just keep track of your money and make sure that your checks clear before you start spending.

Never eat your roommate’s food: Its all about respect.

Don’t mix wine/liquor and beer: Amen to that. It’s a bad combination that you will pay for later in the night. Also, blacking out because you drank too much may seem cute when you’re at that keg party at name frat house here, but when you’re in your late 20’s that gets old. The reason is that your friends now have to drag/carry your drunken butt home and no one wants to be a babysitter to someone drunk when you’re out. Turn down that shot.

Get good car insurance, including AAA: When you’re broken down in the middle of the highway, you’ll be thankful you followed this advice.

Never tell someone that “I’ll make more money in a week then you will in a month:” That’s just an asshole thing to do, number one. Secondly, life is cyclical. You may be flying high right now, but something can happen in a second that brings you down.

Karma: Believe in that.

Don’t become good friends with your neighbor: Be respectful and open, but keep a distance.

Don’t crap where you eat or eat where you crap: I can never get this statement right. However, here are a group of people that you should never date if possible:

1) Coworkers
2) Neighbors
3) Student-Athletes (if you work in an athletic department)
4) Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend of a good friend of yours or sibling
5) Sibling of a good friend

That’s a partial list. I’m sure that I’m forgetting some

Buy good alcohol: You graduated college or are close to it. Enough with the Natty Light, cheap wine, Milwaukee Beast and others. However, don’t hate on box wine, that stuff is the truth.

Never trust a big butt and a smile: Bell Biv Devoe told us this, but there is some meaning to this. Be careful who you hook up with. Have fun, but just beware. Stay away from those dirty girls.

Go to your high school’s graduation five years after you graduated: I haven’t done this yet, but would like to.

Separate home and work: If you’re having problems at home, don’t bring that into work. Your co-workers will hate you. If you’re having problems at work, leave it at work. Your spouse, kids or roommates don’t want that crap.

Never go to bed hungry: My uncle Greg believes in this and I agree. I know that healthy people tell you not to eat before you go to sleep, but you don’t want to be lying there in your bed with your stomach grumbling. Have a banana or a bowl of oatmeal and call it a night.

Have one really good suit: Goes without explanation

Save your MP3 collection/old albums: I liked Limp Bizkit at a point in my life. I once bought an NSYNC album. Those weren’t good choices, even though I love Justin Timberlake now. However, I look at those music purchases and can think back to those times fondly.

Fly your freak flag with pride: I like soap operas, especially General Hospital. I cry over movies all the time. I like mixed martial arts. I love the Mars Volta and Minus the Bear even though I’m a big black guy from the NYC. I love Maury and court shows, especially People’s Court and Divorce Court. Don’t play the macho card and act all tough. Accept your diverse interests and if someone gives you shit about it, they suck.

Go to at least one music act in every music genre: Hit up a rap show if you’re a big alternative music fan. Go to a dive bar and see a punk rock show if you dig hip-hop. Hit up some classical music. See a jazz band. Diversify your musical taste and it will make you a better person.
Never date a woman with more than one cat: Pets are cool, but if she digs the cats more than you, move on.

Don’t get drunk at an office outing: I know that open bar looks enticing, but if you get drunk off your ass, you will be remembered as an ass and that’s not good.

If you have kids, be careful how often you mention them at work: Yes it’s cool that your son got his first base hit in little league or your daughter danced well at the recital, just don’t bore us with that info.

Learn a musical instrument: Even if you suck at it, like I do with bass, at least you’re trying. Don’t be a pussy and start playing Guitar Hero.

Don’t kiss up to your boss too much: Have some dignity.

Know the syndication TV schedule: When you’re having a rough day, there’s nothing better then watching an old Seinfeld, Scrubs, Simpsons, Family Guy, Everybody Loves Raymond, Two and a Half Men or Frasier episode to make you laugh and bring your spirits up. Find out when your favorite old show is on and you’ll have something to look forward to at night.

You have two ears and one mouth…you know the rest: It’s an old saying, but listen more than you speak. I have to work on this skill myself.

You’re only as young/old as you feel: Age is just a number used to determine if you can drive, get drunk, rent a car, enter a sports draft, be elected a politician or collect social security. Don’t let that shit determine what you do in life.

Don’t trust anybody: Sounds harsh, but you have to keep your guard up. By default, you will trust the people that need to be trusted and the ones you shouldn’t trust will be shut out because you didn’t trust them in the beginning. It works out.

Don’t take politics too seriously: We all agree that we have problems in our society, just different ways to solve them. Also, don’t label yourself a Democrat or Republican. Think for yourself and vote for whom you think is right for the job and not just based on the party that he or she is representing.

If you find a girlfriend/boyfriend who is willing to wake up early, pack your lunch, start a pot of coffee, and then go back to bed all while you shower, keep him/her at all costs: So true.

Some quick hitters before I go:

-If you can, spend a little extra and get your own place (I wish I could do this).

-Steal free wireless internet access.

-Ignore Boston sports fans.

-Don’t take your sports too seriously. Its cliché, but it’s just a game.

-Get a Costco membership.

-Learn how to cook. Eating out is expensive and the ladies like a man that can cook.

-Get involved with an older man/woman once in your life. You’ll learn something.

-Learn how to iron.

-Beware of moonshine or homemade beer. Worst drunken experience was in sophomore year of college when I didn’t do this.

-All women have dad issues and all men have mother issues. The sooner you realize that, the better.

-Have a professional e-mail address. You can still have a fun one, but when you start applying for jobs and you give your boss the one with goofy nickname@hotmail.com, not good.

-Learn how to swim.

-Watch your bathroom habits at work.

-Eat a good breakfast.

-Know a good lawyer, just in case.

-Don’t lie as much as possible. Telling the truth is much easier.

-Travel as much as you can. America is a great country, see it.

Finally, this is the most important one of all:

Just be decent to people.

Many of these advice items come down to one thing. Treat others as you would like to be treated. I know that some people are going to respond negatively and be an asshole to you. Don’t be a pussy and take someone treating you like crap. Stand up for yourself. However, if you’re good to people, good things will happen to you.

And I’m a nice guy, but I get screwed out of things at times. However, I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with that guy. If you can do that in your life, well done. If not, there’s time.

I would love to hear your tips because this was the most fun post that I’ve ever written and I know I’ve missed some stuff.

For your viewing pleasure, here’s some Limp Bizkit. First concert I ever saw in Nashville was the Limp Bizkit/Method Man/Redman/System of a Down tour back in 1999 during freshman year. Ah, the memories.

See y’all around.