Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My NFL Predictions (which will be wrong but fun to mock)

What’s going on everyone. The NFL season is upon us and I think all of us are looking forward to it.

First, some business.

Music to listen to: The WWF theme music of The Godfather



Working for a wrestling organization has helped me reminisce about my favorite moments in sports entertainment and I always enjoyed the Godfather’s theme music. Whenever someone asks me about what my walkout song would be if I was a baseball player or what my theme music would be as a wrestler, I think of different songs from my favorite artists. However, I think I would have to pick the Godfather’s song.

Quick note on my fantasy football team. The name of the team is One-Armed Scissor. Google the name for the reference. I name all of my fantasy sports teams after favorite songs. Last football season, it was Life During Wartime by the Talking Heads. For baseball, I had Roulette Dares by The Mars Volta and Home by the Sea by Genesis. This time, I picked the song that started my Mars Volta obsession because I was a big fan of At the Drive-In which featured the two members of the group.

I’m the defending champion in my league and I do feel the pressure to perform. My draft went OK but my bench is weak. I have Brady at QB, Forte and Ryan Grant at RB, Lee Evans and Wes Welker at WR, Dallas Clark at TE. My defense is San Diego and Kris Brown is my kicker. My bench includes Sproles, Jerious Norwood, Nate Washington, Hakeem Nicks, Earl Bennett, Cotchery and David Garrard. The goal is to make the playoffs and see what happens from there.

Honestly, I think I make the playoffs but lose in the semifinals.

So now we get to the picks. As usual, I’ll give you the condensed version for those of you who like to breeze through my posts and then I’ll give you the breakdown after that. Here are the picks:

AFC East: New England
AFC North: Pittsburgh
AFC South: Indianapolis
AFC West: Oakland…just kidding, San Diego
Wild Card: Tennessee and Houston

NFC East: New York
NFC North: Green Bay
NFC South: Atlanta
NFC West: Arizona
Wild Card: Philadelphia and Minnesota

AFC Championship: Pittsburgh over San Diego
NFC Championship: Green Bay over New York

Super Bowl: Pittsburgh over Green Bay

Coach of the Year: Mike Singletary, San Francisco

MVP:

1) Adrian Peterson, Minnesota
2) Philip Rivers, San Diego
3) Tom Brady, New England

Offensive MVP:

1) Phillip Rivers, San Diego
2) Drew Brees, New Orleans
3) Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona

Defensive MVP:

1) Jared Allen, Minnesota
2) DeMarcus Ware, Dallas
3) Justin Tuck, New York Giants

Coach of the Year: Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh

AFC East:
1) New England
2) Miami
3) Buffalo
4) New York

Thoughts: This is New England’s division to lose. Brady’s back and even if he doesn’t return to the form that he was at two years ago, the Patriots still have enough to win the East. The retirement of their older defenders is a concern but knowing how Belichick operates, this will allow him to use younger players. Miami was a nice story last year but the lack of offense will be their undoing, especially since the “Wildcat” will have a significantly less impact than last season. Buffalo was going to be a sleeper pick for me until they fired their offensive coordinator and released their starting left tackle all within the last two weeks. I don’t need that panic in my life and that’s not even mentioning Mr. Owens. The Jets are a long way away but I like Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez.

AFC North:
1) Pittsburgh
2) Baltimore
3) Cleveland
4) Cincinnati

Thoughts: Seeing how I picked Pittsburgh to repeat as Super Bowl champions, they have to at least win the division. They return virtually everybody from last season and I’m banking on a relatively healthy Willie Parker to provide some offensive boost. Big Ben with three titles in his first six years in the league, who would have thought. Baltimore is a definite threat but I see an aging defense and don’t expect Flacco to repeat his success in his second season. However, they are physical enough to get nine or 10 wins. Picking between Cleveland and Cincinnati makes me sad for the state of Ohio professional football. Mangini is an overrated head coach will be fired in three years but the problem in Cleveland is the management. Also, having two average to below average quarterbacks, a poor defense and a star receiver who can’t catch the ball isn’t good as well. So why pick them ahead of Cincinnati? The Bengals are a mess and I’m concerned about Carson Palmer’s arm.

AFC South:
1) Indianapolis
2) Tennessee
3) Houston
4) Jacksonville

Thoughts: Living in Nashville gives me a direct prospective of the Titans and I’m sensing too much optimism within the fans. First, I think that Kerry Collins doesn’t make it though an entire season due to injury and not because of poor play. I know that making predictions based on potential injuries isn’t prudent but I just have a feeling about that. I see the Titans getting banged up overall but still having a solid team overall carried by the potentially best defense in the entire league. So I’ve picked Indy to win the division based on Manning putting together one more peak season, the increased focus on Reggie Wayne, finally having a reliable running game with the rookie Brown and a defense that will hold up well enough for the division. I know that Dungy is gone but that may actually be a good thing since things may have been getting stale there. Houston will find a way to finally make the playoffs over Baltimore. The Texans need Schaub to stay healthy which is already an issue even in this preseason. The defense will continue to evolve. They have a Pro Bowl-caliber player at running back, wide receiver, defensive end and linebacker. Their time is now. Jacksonville has Jones-Drew and not much else.

AFC West:
1) San Diego
2) Kansas City
3) Oakland
4) Denver

Thoughts: I had serious thoughts about placing the Chargers in the Super Bowl but then I remembered that Norv Turner is their head coach and dismissed that theory. Howevr, they’re good enough to win this sad division and may even get home field advantage for the playoffs, but we’ve seen them blow that before. The rest of the division can go either way but Kansas City at least has some talent on its roster. However, if Cassell is out more than two weeks, then all bets are off. The Raiders are a dysfunctional mess but I wanted to shake some things up and place Denver last. The Brandon Marshall situation is not a good sign. An even worse sign is an overwhelmed coach and Kyle frickin Orton as your starting quarterback. No thanks.

Mid-predictions Music to Listen to: One-Armed Scissor by At the Drive-In



I know none of you Googled my fantasy football team name so the video is above.

NFC East:
1) New York
2) Philadelphia
3) Dallas
4) Washington

Thoughts: This may be the most competitive division in the NFL behind the next one that’s going to be mentioned later. All of you know that I’m a Giants fan and may think that this is a homer pick, especially seeing the additions that Philly made. I think that the Giants have a better running back, offensive line, defensive line and linebackers than Philly and this will be enough to win the division. Heck yes, I said McNabb is better than New York’s new $90 million dollar QB. Vick will be a relative non-factor this season as well. For all of the people that think that getting rid of Mr. Owens and Pacman will be the saving grace for Dallas and make them a title contender, I still have doubts about Romo, Roy Williams as an elite receiver and a defense that should be better than it is. Until then, they still finish third in the East. Washington seems to be stuck in neutral. I think Campbell is a decent quarterback and Portis is a good running back but outside of that, what do you really think of the Redskins relative to their competition. Put them in the NFC West or AFC West and maybe they contend for the division but in the East, they place fourth.

NFC North:
1) Green Bay
2) Minnesota
3) Chicago
4) Detroit

Thoughts: I’m jumping on the Packers bandwagon with both feet forward for three reasons. First, Aaron Rodgers is going to be that good this year running the offense especially with a healthy Ryan Grant. Second, the move to the 3-4 defense was brilliant for their personnel. Third, the Vikings will get in their own way and blow the division. Minnesota has the most talent in the division, have potentially the offensive and defensive MVP’s of the league, which I will predict will happen, but you know who will cost them at least two games this season. Farve will hinder the Vikings. Chicago or Vanderbilt Professional Commodores will put up some points with Cutler but their overvalued defense will actually let them down. The Lions win five games this season.

NFC South:
1) Atlanta
2) New Orleans
3) Carolina
4) Tampa

Thoughts: This may be the most entertaining division and potentially the most balanced. I think it’s the most competitive, because while I doubt that Dallas wins the East and Chicago wins the North, Carolina can win the South. That doesn’t make it the best but surely makes it competitive. Atlanta will play just enough defense to win the division, even though Brees will torch their secondary in one of their games. Brees will throw for 500 yards in one of his games against Atlanta. I know that the Saints have promised to have a more balanced offensive attack this year but I’m waiting to see that happen. Carolina certainly has the running attack to compete but I see a letdown this year. Tampa has work to do. Just start Josh Freeman and get the youth movement going.

NFC West:
1) Arizona
2) San Francisco
3) Seattle
4) St. Louis

Thoughts: The Cardinals won’t make another Super Bowl appearance but will at least win the division. The offense will put up a lot of points and the defense will hold up just enough. Warner may be the most indispensible player on any team in the league. If he goes down, they go from a 10-win team to a six-win team in a snap. I’m taking a flier on San Francisco reaching .500 and Frank Gore finishing in the top-three in rushing this season. I know that Hasselback is returning from injury but the rest of that squad doesn’t inspire me. St. Louis is starting from scratch and will place last.

Your thoughts?

1 comment:

Jared said...

Cincinnati will finish ahead of Cleveland. I think the Bungles could get back to .500 this year, but no better with the Ravens and Steelers still in the division.

Seattle will finish ahead of San Francisco. San Francisco still is not a good football team...And Seattle can score enough points to take care of San Fran and St. Louis.

The Ravens will get the other Wild Card Spot ahead of the Texans (as much as I hate to say it). My reasoning there is the divisions. The Texans can play as well as the Ravens...be as good as the Ravens...And not win as many games because they are in the toughest division in the AFC and 2nd toughest in football.

We agree on everything else. Oh yes...Except the Lions winning 5 games. If that happens, give Matthew Stafford the MVP!