NFL Preview

Time for that NFL Preview.

Music to listen to: Whipping Post by The Allman Brothers Band (live from Filmore East)

Several things about this song, performance and band that were badass.

1) Duane Allman was an absolute beast on guitar. Scary that he was this good in his early 20’s. He died at 24. Been a fan of his playing for a while but NEVER realized he died so young, so sad.

2) Gregg Allman is an underrated all-time singer.

3) Any band that has two drummers and one of them is Black, you know I’m down with that.

4) I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago that if I ever started a band, it would sound like the Black Keys. That’s not completely true. It would be part Black Keys, part Tool, part Yes, part Mars Volta and part Allman Brothers Band. That’s how much I enjoy listening to those dudes.

On to the games. BTW, my record for the season was approaching 30 games below .500 and I ran out of “fake” money weeks ago so we’re just going to start over again. The lesson as always, don’t gamble, at least with my picks.

Jets (-3.5) Buffalo: I would have taken the Jets so I’m off to a 1-0 start! Seriously, Ralph Wilson just needs to move the team to Toronto and get the suspense over with.

KANSAS CITY (+4.5) Denver: I wouldn’t take Denver as a favorite on the road, anytime, even against the hopeless Chiefs.

PITTSBURGH (-14.5) Oakland: Dennis Dixon can start this game and I’m still taking the points.
This seems like a good time to get to my thoughts on Tiger, which I know that all of you have been waiting for. It didn’t shock me at all that he was cheating on his wife, this stuff happens to people all of the time.

The three things that were surprised me, in order, were…

1) Why he got married in the first place. I will NEVER, EVER understand why any professional athlete gets married. Between the hectic work schedule, physical and mental demands of the job, money, attention from women, media scrutiny, human instincts, it’s a bad recipe for a marriage. Derek Jeter has it right. Watch him get married one year after he retires to someone that we’ve never heard of.

When you get married, you put yourself out there for failure. Furthermore, you legally are at a major risk because divorce can take half or more of your money away.

2) How terrible of a cheater he was. Get a second phone for your player ways, so your lady friend can’t pull up your regular phone and see some shadiness going down. Don’t leave voice mail messages. You don’t have constant interaction with your mistress. You should keep her for only a few months at a time. Having an affair with the same woman for nearly two years, unacceptable.

3) The quality of the women. His wife is attractive but she doesn’t do anything for me. Usually when men cheat, it comes down to one of three things. They want someone who looks completely different from their girlfriend, who does things that their girlfriend won’t do and “availability” of the mistress.
Tiger tends to like the brunettes that look physically different than his wife in his affairs, I can see that. I don’t know what his wife will or will not do for him but you can figure that one out. The last one is odd. The women look trashy. Tiger has a lot of money and is an OK looking guy. He should have stepped his game up in this regard.

I’m not condoning cheating, in fact, its not cool at all, especially when children are involved. However, he could have avoided a lot of this if he didn’t get married in the first place.

Finally, I saw a comedian one time who said that before he has a sexual encounter with a woman, he would make her sign an agreement. Now he said he did this because he was accused of rape when he allegedly didn’t do it during one of his sexual situations, but the concept still fits.

Tiger should have made all of his women sign agreements to not come out like this.

JACKSONVILLE (PK) Houston: Either team can win this game and both will still miss the playoffs after finishing the year 7-9.

ATLANTA (+5.5) Philadelphia: I know that Michael Turner and Matt Ryan are most likely out of this game but I can’t take Philly on the road. Also, Mike Vick returns to Atlanta, no one cares.

INDIANAPOLIS (-6.5) Tennessee: Would like to take the Titans in this one but I think that this will be a 10-point win for the Colts.

CINCINNATI (-13) Detroit: Odd game to pick. Speaking of odd, I was at the gas station today and prepaid for it. The woman in the line behind me was literally breathing down my neck. I can’t stand it when people stand on top of me in line. We all have our personal space and it doesn’t get respected often enough.

CHICAGO (-9) St. Louis: The Bears are a desperate team. The coach is about to get fired. The quarterback has played terrible, the running back has been terrible (I own Forte on my fantasy team, I know), the defense isn’t good anymore. Thank goodness on their end they get the perfect remedy in the Rams.

CLEVELAND (+13) San Diego: So I was on Facebook today, going through all of my friends to see who I haven’t spoken to in a while and I came across an old co-worker. I clicked on his front page and everyone was leaving rest in peace messages. Turns out he passed away in September.
Now, what’s the policy on Facebook in these situations? Do the administrators take the page down? Does a family member or friend take it down for the person who died? Do people want to keep the page up to pass along memories?

San Francisco (PK) SEATTLE: I don’t analyze NFC West contests.

Minnesota (-3.5) ARIZONA: The Vikes keep rolling.

NEW YORK GIANTS (+2.5) Dallas: Herm Edwards analyzed on ESPN today if this was a must-win game for the Giants. Every game is a must-win contest in the NFL. This is why I rarely watch all NFL analysis on all channels.

MIAMI (+4.5) New England: Mini upset of the week

GREEN BAY (-3) Baltimore