Music to listen to: Hurt Me by The Jezabels
I went to my niece’s high school basketball game yesterday and it was a good experience. J played well, the team won, all was well or so I thought.
Her high school plays the women’s game first and than the men’s so I stayed for a part of the men’s game while J wrapped up her post-game activities.
I find her watching the men’s contest on the other side of the gym in the bleachers, so I come over and tell her congrats on the game and everything.
Well, she was sitting with two boys and I immediately knew that she wanted me to leave so that she could continue her social activities. I also know that she was “scouting” out some of the talent on her school’s boy team. In fact, she was trying to move the conversation along so that I would get my goodbye in and leave.
I saw right through it and called her out on it. She laughed and said that this wasn’t the case, but I’ve been there so I told her that I’ll talk to her later and left.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. In the summer, I ran into J while I was at the mall and she was with her friends. The second that she saw me, she ran the other way to not come near me. I knew her friends so it wasn’t as if I was going to see some shady characters J was with.
The reality is that I’ve become the “old relative.”
We’ve have that older relative when we were teenagers that we have love for but we think is lame if we associate with them in front of our friends.
I’m not hurt by J’s actions. In fact, I’ve joked with her about the mall incident and will mess with her about the gym situation the next time we’re together.
But its strange to be at this stage of our relationship because I was the youngest member of the immediate family for many years, especially during my elementary and high school years. Its been an interesting transition going from the young guy to being the mentor to a group that’s currently in high school themselves.
The relationship with J has had changed over the years. When she was first born, she was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I know everyone says that about their kid or family member, but you have to believe me on this one. I would spend hours with her because it was cool to spend time with a little girl for the first time.
I still remember when I was babysitting her when J was less than a year old and there was a blackout at the house we were staying at. I spoke directly to her for a whole hour and she just sat there, looked up at me and listened. Granted, J may have been excited to see a talking object as a baby but it started a bond that is still strong to this day.
She’s 15 now and growing up into a woman. We’re still close and have even been able to share some things in common, including our dating lives to some degree as strange as that sounds. She’s my main advisor in many aspects of my life.
However, as evidence at the gym yesterday, she’s springing out into her own world and I’ve come to terms with this.
I’ve always said that J has been a test case for me if I ever have a daughter and this is a lesson that I’ll remember for a long time.
