-Seeing how I operate two Blogs, have a twitter account, use Facebook daily and go to sleep literally with my lap top on, I’m the last one to judge another person’s digital usage but the overkill of the younger generation of technology is an interesting read: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/21/technology/21brain.html?_r=2&src=tptw
-Excellent post by my friend Nicole on her Blog titled This Is Why You’re Single. The title says it all.
I went to my niece’s high school basketball game yesterday and it was a good experience. J played well, the team won, all was well or so I thought.
Her high school plays the women’s game first and than the men’s so I stayed for a part of the men’s game while J wrapped up her post-game activities.
I find her watching the men’s contest on the other side of the gym in the bleachers, so I come over and tell her congrats on the game and everything.
Well, she was sitting with two boys and I immediately knew that she wanted me to leave so that she could continue her social activities. I also know that she was “scouting” out some of the talent on her school’s boy team. In fact, she was trying to move the conversation along so that I would get my goodbye in and leave.
I saw right through it and called her out on it. She laughed and said that this wasn’t the case, but I’ve been there so I told her that I’ll talk to her later and left.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. In the summer, I ran into J while I was at the mall and she was with her friends. The second that she saw me, she ran the other way to not come near me. I knew her friends so it wasn’t as if I was going to see some shady characters J was with.
The reality is that I’ve become the “old relative.”
We’ve have that older relative when we were teenagers that we have love for but we think is lame if we associate with them in front of our friends.
I’m not hurt by J’s actions. In fact, I’ve joked with her about the mall incident and will mess with her about the gym situation the next time we’re together.
But its strange to be at this stage of our relationship because I was the youngest member of the immediate family for many years, especially during my elementary and high school years. Its been an interesting transition going from the young guy to being the mentor to a group that’s currently in high school themselves.
The relationship with J has had changed over the years. When she was first born, she was the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I know everyone says that about their kid or family member, but you have to believe me on this one. I would spend hours with her because it was cool to spend time with a little girl for the first time.
I still remember when I was babysitting her when J was less than a year old and there was a blackout at the house we were staying at. I spoke directly to her for a whole hour and she just sat there, looked up at me and listened. Granted, J may have been excited to see a talking object as a baby but it started a bond that is still strong to this day.
She’s 15 now and growing up into a woman. We’re still close and have even been able to share some things in common, including our dating lives to some degree as strange as that sounds. She’s my main advisor in many aspects of my life.
However, as evidence at the gym yesterday, she’s springing out into her own world and I’ve come to terms with this.
I’ve always said that J has been a test case for me if I ever have a daughter and this is a lesson that I’ll remember for a long time.
Music to listen to: Any Colour You Like by Pink Floyd
Hey everybody. Its been such a long time since I’ve written on Pourtout Pancakes and that’s my fault.
Since moving to Georgia, I’ve been focused on not only finding a full-time job but on my other Web page, thesportsinquirer.worpress.com.
Spending a majority of time on that has been fun but I’ve also missed giving you my updated top-five, Links I Like, dating life information, music reviews and of course, Sunday Reflections.
There’s nothing new to update you on here in Georgia. I miss Nashville for a variety of reasons. I miss attending Vandy football games, even though looking at this season from a far, maybe it was good to sit this one out from a distance.
I miss going to Belmont sporting events, where even after I graduated and stopped working in the athletic department was given massive amounts of love whenever I visited.
I even miss my peeps at TNA Wrestling. While there may have been issues at the time I was there, it was an awesome gig to have and as a professional wrestling fan, that internship may be a major highlight in my professional career.
More importantly, at all of those places, I miss the people.
I’ve kept in touch with some but not as much as I would like. I went from seeing some people every day to not even hearing from them for weeks at a time.
However, despite all of this nostalgia, it was time to move away from Nashville and find another path.
What that path is, I’m unsure.
What has been a bummer is seeing the employment market in sports. I’ve been on all of the job boards, sent my resume to a bunch of places, made countless cover letters, contacted a bunch of people, yet nothing.
It makes you want to look for something outside of the industry, which is something that I’ve had to start doing because the financial funds are really low right now.
But you don’t read this Blog to hear about all of that. I’ll be fine.
So I’ll make a better effort to write more on Pourtout Pancakes because its fun and does provide me a form of therapy that I can use right now in my life.
My Reflections today are on pregnant women getting married. Strange, I know, but first…
Music to listen to: Hoops by Chemical Brothers (live)
I thought about this topic when watching the Bethanny’s Getting Married TV show on Bravo. Before you start hating for me watching a show on that station, especially a spinoff of a Real Housewives edition of the series, hear me out. Beth is entertaining, her unintentional comedy is off the charts, easy on the eyes and has a show based in my hometown, the NYC. Darn near any show based in the NYC gets a customary view because that’s where I will always represent for it. So I gave Beth’s show an opportunity, liked it, etc.
So the premise of the show is this. She’s pregnant and is planning to get married during the pregnancy to her boyfriend. Of course, there is drama with this, but she has her wedding, even has the honeymoon about seven months pregnant, has the baby a month early, baby and marriage is fine, the end.
While watching the show, I kept asking myself why she just didn’t wait to get married until AFTER she had the baby. I thought that Beth was the exception but I’ve seen this trend happening often.
First it was Beth, than it was the singer Alicia Keys, next was model Miranda Kerr and even someone within my extended family. What’s going on?
I thought in 2010 that we would be past the “shotgun wedding.”
I’ve fortunately never been in a situation where I’ve gotten someone pregnant and had to make a decision to whether I want to keep the baby, stay with the woman, break up with her and be a single parent, etc. You would have to consider all of those things if you are in that spot.
I put this inquiry on Facebook about a week ago and the response from my women friends tended to be of the view that women don’t want to be a “baby mama,” meaning that before they give birth to the baby, they want a commitment from their boyfriend that they will have a family and nothing says that more than marriage.
I see that view from the women but here’s my view as a man.
If we’re in an established relationship and you happen to be pregnant, that would be great. I want to be a father and if we were having unprotected sex than I was willing to accept the potential responsibility of fatherhood. However, there is a difference between being your husband and the father of your child. They are connected but not as much as people make it out to be.
Our marriage is about the commitment that we are making towards each other. My role as a father is about my commitment to our child. I can be a great father without being your husband. Being a great husband may have no impact on my fathering skills.
If we only get married to provide a fake family for our child, that’s going to hurt in a major way in the future because it won’t last and hurt feelings will ensue.
Furthermore, preparing to have a baby is a major commitment in itself that deserves its own attention. Those nine months should be dedicated to our child, not looking at floral arrangements and seating charts. We should be preparing the nursery and not trying out wedding gowns, you get what I’m saying.
We can take care of the pregnancy, wait about a year while we settle into being parents and then have the wedding when things calm down.
Also, I thought most of us 35 years old and under were beyond the pressures of the older generation forcing the “shotgun wedding.” Back in the olden days (really the 1950’s and 60’s), if you got someone pregnant, you had to marry then because raising a child out of wedlock was considered unacceptable by the standards of society.
In the 21st century, most of us were either raised by divorced parents or had a member of your immediate family circle going through it. My parents are divorced and after spending time with each of them, I understand why the separation happened on both sides. If they forced themselves to stay together for my sake, it would have been an unhappier household that would have been problems for everybody.
That’s just my case and not everyone is the same but what do you think about “shotgun weddings” in 2010?
Music to listen to: Clubbed to Death by Rob Dougan (otherwise known as that Matrix song)
My nephew asked me a few weeks ago if this was my lowest point of my life or rock bottom. I thought about it and I simply told him no. He didn’t have to know about my unhappy high school years, my depression during the first two years of college, celebrating my 21st birthday alone and wondering if I left the world if anyone would care, having the power and heat cut off of my apartment in Dunwoody, making me take hot showers at the gym and about five or six situations I can think of but won’t get into.
Searching for a job is not my lowest point.
I can see his view of it. He has seen his uncle go from earning a master’s degree in the one industry that I’ve cared about the most, sport management and then working in professional wrestling in a fun job to having no money in my account and having to move into my mother’s home. He’s seen me move away from a place that I’ve had the best three years of my life, Nashville, to a less active suburbia.
To a 13-year old who thinks his uncle should be living in a condo in downtown Atlanta partying with three girlfriends and hitting the bars but instead is barely surviving, that can be viewed at as a low.
But his blunt honesty of my situation has made me realize that I’ve let myself perceive this as a low and that’s why I haven’t written on my Blog for nearly two months.
For those of you who have followed Pourtout Pancakes the past three years know that I’ll write about anything personal accept my family. I’ve written about my body image issues, my job, working on getting my education, dating, sports and even dying. My boundaries are very open, but why the fear of writing now?
I thought that I would write my post saying goodbye to Nashville and than be able to do another one a week or two later promoting my new job in a fun city that would continue my life path.
I wanted my next post to be a positive one with good news on my front but that isn’t what the Blog is about. Its about me working out my issues and hopefully letting my experiences be helpful to someone that’s reading it.
I let the perceived lives of others affect my mood. I violated my own rule of not judging my life in comparison with others. One of my life mantras is to have my own journey but when I see people I know getting jobs, getting married, having children, taking vacations around the world and I’m stuck here, that hurt.
But this (earmuffs for the kids) shit is temporary. I will come out of this stronger and with a desire to dominate all aspects of my life. I will get a job, have my own place again and get back into a positive situation.
The second thing that happened since my move here was interesting as well. I was in an interview for a sales position for an athletic department in Georgia and they asked me if sports didn’t exist, what industry would I work in.
At first, I tried to give a answer but kept it real and told them that I can’t imagine myself in another industry.
I’m a sports journalist. That’s what I do.
I’ve been flexible with it working in media relations, marketing, advertising, etc but the core desire is the same.
Fuck it I will have that sports media outlet that will be witnessed by the world as the premiere source in the world for sports news. I can’t compromise on that ideal because if I do than I will consider my life, at least on the professional side, a failure.
I have been a failure towards my goal and have to be honest about that. You’re reading this and calling me out on my bull crap.
I could produce this sports media vehicle right now. I can start up that second Blog. I can post videos with my commentaries. I could become a freelance writer. All of this is true. I’m not going to make promises that I’m going to do all of that to you because I can’t even keep that promise to myself.
I don’t know what my next step is and that’s the honest truth.
So that’s the update. I’ll touch on stuff like enjoying food a little too much, my new enjoyment of Univision and Telemundo, LeBron, the World Cup, watching three seasons of The Wire on DVD and it being one of the five best shows I’ve ever seen, the Cincinnati Reds being in first place, getting roped into online dating again, Fedor losing and Brock winning me over as a MMA fan, being awed by Breaking Bad, the addiction of daytime TV and everything in between over the next few weeks in my blog posts.
This isn’t a rock bottom, just a time to get it together and more importantly, get it right.
Music to listen to: Seven by Sunny Day Real Estate
So we are halfway through the conference finals of the NBA Playoffs and not only are we heading towards possible sweeps, but we my see a rematch of only two years ago in the NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers. This may lead to a lack of excitement for casual fans but there has been a lot of things going on in the world of the NBA. So you’ve come to the right source for the review of it all.
1) Where in the world will LeBron James go? I’ve been asked this question by several people because I have a partial and impartial view of this situation. I’m a New York Knicks fan, one of LeBron’s potential destinations, and I would be happy if he became a Knick. However, as an NBA fan, I like to see elite players in the best situations so we can see the best product possible. Plus, I show no emotion in my analysis and you know that. Here’s my breakdown.
Before I start, he’s going to make his money wherever he goes, so the fact that Cleveland can sign him for the “most” money is true on paper but in the grand scheme of this situation, it doesn’t matter.
If he’s thinking with his basketball mind he will be a…Bull. Chicago gives him the best situation to turn a playoff team to a potentially elite team. Not only do the Bulls have Rose and Noah in store, they have additional money to sign another high-level player like Chris Bosh. If you put those four together, they will be the top team in the East right along with Orlando the next five to six years. They also have Deng’s contract to include in a sign and trade, which makes the possibility even stronger. There is also an open head coach position if he wants to play that game.
If he’s thinking with his heart he will be a…Cav. LeBron continues to preach loyalty and obviously staying with your “hometown” team is the way to show this. I put “hometown” in quotations because most people seem to think that LeBron considers Cleveland his hometown but its actually Akron that he claims. It’s not the same. He can finish what he has stated with the Cavs. However, because of the inept management of the team’s roster, all of the role players such as Mo Williams, Anthony Parker, Varajo, etc. are still with the team for a few years with heavy contracts other teams won’t want. If LeBron couldn’t even make the Finals the past two years with this crew, what makes him think it will be any different? Plus, if they keep Mike Brown, which they probably won’t, James has to walk.
If he wanted to think about his brand, he will be a…Net. I’ll get to the Knicks, hear me out. The Nets have Brook Lopez, Devin Harris, a top-three pick in the draft and money to spend. He will be closer to his major New York market and the Nets have a better core than the Knicks, which isn’t saying much but it’s something. Another open position is at head coach. Two more factors to consider. You can’t ignore the ownership of Jay-Z of the team as being a factor. Those two have formed a relationship of some form that has lasted a long time. Second, the owner is Russian and has European connections that will help James increase his name in that area of the world.
If he wants to be a little savvy he will be a…Celtic or Thunder. Both teams can afford him, especially Oklahoma City. They each have good cores to build around but I don’t think that Lebron is a candidate for these locations.
If he wanted to be savvy and give a sleeper a chance, he would be a…Maverick. Dallas has the money, an expiring contract, the sway of Mark Cuban, the chance to play in a bigger market and even Texas Stadium on occasion and some other attributes. The problem is that you have an older core that may lose its maximum skills in a year or two instead of a younger core like Chicago or New Jersey.
If he buys into the whole “global icon” concept, he would be a…Knick. It is the biggest market, the largest stage, offers the most money besides Cleveland, he would be the biggest sports celebrity in that city, even more than Jeter. He would gain larger exposure for his brand. On the court, New York offers him a nearly open slate to choose players and a coach in D’Antoni with a system that he could realistically average 35/10/8 if he wanted to for a season or even tick the points down a few and get the elusive triple-double season. However, this isn’t enough. He would have to get another player like Bosh or even Wade to take the leap with him. This may be harder than you would think.
If he can deal with a crappy owner, he would be a Clipper…If the Clippers had another owner that gave a crap about the team, they would be the favorite outside of Cleveland. The Clippers give him the major market, have a solid core of young players, the whole thing accept for the terrible owner. There is no way that LeBron makes this move. Can’t blame him.
So where does he go. I think he ends up a Knick. He’s going to buy into the BS of him having to play for the Knicks to reach his marketing potential. He’s already the face of the league. If he wants to reach Michael Jordan status, he has to win titles. He would have a better chance of doing that with the Bulls and not a rebuilding Knicks team.
Wherever he chooses to play, he needs to gain a killer instinct and act like he cares. Losing game five of the Boston series wasn’t criminal. It happens to all of the great players. However, his mannerisms during that contest was unacceptable for a player who is trying to become a world champion. All of the greats from Jordan to Magic to Bird and many others wouldn’t have let game five happen the way that it did. You have to be aggressive and take control of your team. Game six was a formality because all of us knew the Cavs were going to lose that contest.
The biggest thing that we learned from that Boston series is that LeBron, really any elite player honestly, needs help to win a championship. One-man gangs don’t win NBA titles. That’s why its critical that whoever he signs with has a supporting cast around him because if he goes to New York and no one joins him, he’s going to keep losing early in the playoffs.
Enough LeBron, he’s out of the playoffs, lets look at the other playoff series:
Boston vs. Orlando: Dwight Howard is like LeBron-lite. The lack of competitiveness in him is just as disappointing. He needs to stop smiling and acting happy because he’s getting punked in this series. The thing that was most disturbing was his “interview” during game one of the series with himself. His alter ego Clark Kent or some other crap like that was doing an interview with Dwight, it was awful as it sounds. Not to sound like an old man but you wouldn’t see the great players do that at all. He’s not elite. Also, learn some post moves.
When you’re relying on Vince Carter for clutch plays, you have problems.
For Boston, we’ve seen this song and dance before. The main difference is that while Pierce, Garnett and Allen can’t give a max effort every night because of age, Rondo steps up and fills the role. I still would take Deron Williams and Derrick Rose before Rondo but he’s had an excellent 2010 playoffs.
Back to Orlando. I think that sweeping Charlotte and Atlanta may have actually hurt it. The Magic haven’t been challenged and you’re seeing the battle-tested crew of Boston take it to them. Also, does Rashad Lewis even know that this series has started? Just a question for someone who is due to make more than $18 million dollars each year for the next four? What an awful contract.
I think Boston wins this series in six.
Los Angeles vs. Phoenix: Its not a problem for the Suns when Kobe goes for 40 points in game one. Lamar Odom going for 18 and 18 in the same contest is not good. Gasol getting 28 points in game two is a problem. Kobe is going to get 30+ points in every game of this series. If the bigs for the Lakers have big games, the Suns will get swept.
Phoenix just doesn’t have the size to compete.
However, similar to Orlando, if the Lakers get comfortable, Boston will bring it to them in the Finals.
What up everybody, hope you’ve been well. On to another fun post…
Music to listen to: Machine Messiah by Yes
So I’m moving out of Nashville and going to spend at least the summer in good ole Kennesaw, Ga.
Its been an active four-week period for me personally and professionally. It all started at the end of March when I was informed that I was going to be released from my position at TNA Wrestling. It was a tough blow to take because its always tough being told that you aren’t wanted at your place of employment, no matter how good or bad you did at your job. I think I did well and tried my best but that wasn’t good enough for them and I can’t control that. I made some excellent relationships there and will miss the job but you have to move on.
Furthermore, as I’ve stated here in this forum, working in sports is a dicey profession to get involved in. No one is safe. Players get traded, coaches get fired, executives get released, its part of the gig. So while there are some hard feelings towards the release, I’m not bitter about it. Plus, in a few years, there may be another chance to come back to TNA Wrestling or professional wresting in general, so this is just a phase of the employment life.
It was fun to work in professional wrestling because I was able to achieve one of those childhood goals. When I was a little, ok husky, lad in Brooklyn with only a prayer and a dream back in the NYC, I wanted to be one of several things in this order
1) President of the New York Mets 2) Sports writer for the New York Daily News 3) President of the New York Giants 4) President of the New York Rangers 5) President of the World Wrestling Federation
The first one would be interesting, the second one would be interesting and I’ve worked in media relations so I have an idea of how that goes down, the third one would be OK, the fourth one would be the most outside of my element and the fifth one would be the least interesting to me because after working in professional wrestling, I see what goes into it and its probably not for me. But at least I can say that I tried it.
Plus I got paid to talk about and watch wrestling. The 13-year old version of me would think that was epic so the 28-year old version will as well.
After getting the release, I’ve been contemplating a LOT of stuff in my life. I’ve come to several conclusions. Want to hear them? Since you’re reading this blog post, you probably do so here they go:
1) It’s time to move out of Nashville. I’ve spent seven years of my adult life in this city and I’ve enjoyed every moment of it. When I first came down here for undergrad studies, there was a culture shock of moving from the NYC to middle Tennessee. While I had spent some summers in South Carolina and Georgia as a teenager, it wasn’t the same. This city has represented my growth as an adult in many ways. When I first came here in 1999, Nashville was growing from a perceived sleepy town with some country music into one of the major cities in the country. Between the Tennessee Titans, businesses moving down here and everything else, it was a happening time. By the time of my first departure in 2003, the city had changed and so did I. After some rough personal times and not finding happiness in Charleston, S.C., I jumped at the chance to come back to this city for graduate school and its been even more fun than the frst time.
I’ve so comfortable here. I know where to go to take care of every task, have free access to each sporting event of my choosing, only a three-hour drive from a significant amount of my family, the people are nice, etc.
However, its time for me to move outside of my bubble and expand my options. I’m sure that I could stay here, find a job to my liking and spend the next fifty years here. But I want to see more of this country, diversify my choices and that means moving away. I will always be around the city though. I can’t miss Vandy football, Belmont volleyball, Belmont soccer, Vandy men’s basketball, Belmont basketball, and most surprisingly, Belmont baseball.
I came to my ultimate conclusion to move out on Saturday when I went to the senior day activities for Belmont baseball. I saw the ceremony for the four seniors Packy, Cameron, Brandan and Mark and thought back to three years ago when those guys were sophomores and now they were grown men moving on to their next paths of life. I would love to still be friends with the senior versions of them and stay in this state forever but that’s not how life works. Like them I must find my path and that means leaving this comfort zone.
I will have an emo moment when I drive on to I-24 towards Chattanooga to Georgia because while I will visit here often, it won’t be the same.
2) Being very picky about my next position of employment, it has to be in the following fields to reach these positions.
a) College athletic director b) President of a Mixed Martial Arts organization c) Publisher of a sports publication d) President/Commissioner of a professional basketball team/organization e) President/Commissioner of a professional baseball team/organization f) Kick ass bass player of an alternative rock group that’s part Mars Volta, part Yes, part Tool, some Black Angels, Massive Attack and Thievery Corporation wrapped into one.
Only one of those has no chance of happening. I’ve looked at other positions in other industries and I would prefer to not do it. I love the sports industry and more importantly, I’m good, borderline excellent in it. This is what I want to do and the past month has confirmed this for me.
3) I want a wife and children. I’ve bounced back and forth with this one. All of us who are single like me have those moments when we see a happy family in a public place and wish we had that for ourselves and then we see an unhappy couple with miserable children and are grateful we aren’t in that spot.
If it seems like I’m harping on age its not intentional but I get like this on my birthday week. I turn 29 on Saturday and while I’m not old (btw, when you’re in your early 50’s, you’re old, no shame in that, embrace it, but you are in the second-half of your life), I would prefer to not be the old dad if you know what I’m saying.
I figure I’m fortunate if I reach 70. I’m well aware of my mortality and accept it because all of us die so no biggie to think on these terms. I would like to be able to post up my sons and daughters in the backyard driveway playing basketball when they are teenagers, lets say 15. Its going to go south for me at 50, so that means I have about five years, maybe 10 before I have to at least have the first child.
I’ve heard that having a child is like seeing a dog learn to talk and who doesn’t want that?
But seriously, if I want to have a family, these are things I have to think about. I’m glad that I haven’t had any children yet because I’m not in the proper position to support them right now but I will be soon.
So as of May 17, 2010, your boy will eventually like to become a father and husband, but that may change next week, next year or even by the end of this post. Its something that’s in my control and out of my control if that makes sense.
4) I want to have more fun. This month has been rough but its shown me that I also have a lot going for me and that I have to enjoy my life more because as you saw in point three above, it can go in an instant.
Along those lines, I have to go back to my definitions of fun. For some, heading to the bar or dance club may be fun but I’m not interested in that. I find enjoyment in writing on this blog, heading to the book store and reading, attending sporting events, etc. What I’m telling myself to do is embrace my journey and find enjoyment within me.
5) I really, really want to get Sports Inquirer going. This moment of my life will determine if I become a sports journalist or not. Pourtout Pancakes is a good forum but deep in my soul I believe that if I do this right, when you think of American sports publications, it will be only behind Sports Illustrated, ESPN the Magazine and The Sporting News. Its on me to make that happen
6) Law school may still happen in 2011, but I’m not ready to take the LSAT. I postponed that test until October. It had to be done.
7) Learn French and play guitar. When I release my French rock album and have my first concert in Quebec City, you won’t be laughing then.
8) Value my family. I’ve been selfish the last decade of my life in relation to assisting my family. They can really use my assistance at this time. I’m not going to specifics because remember my one rule of the blog, I don’t write about specifics in my family but its nothing major. However, having my presence in Georgia will be nice for them.
